disgusting
Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
26/10/08 12:27 Filed in: Stories
This story starts out very bad, but has a very happy ending.
Yesterday, I had to clean up puke. Some little kid decided to throw up on A&C and I got the job of cleaning it because I could handle the sight and smell without throwing up myself. I don’t mind, I’ve cleaned up some kids piss before and it’s not like I have to get down and lick it. I better get used to that kinda stuff anyway, I’ll be no good as a nurse if I’m squeamish. The mother even offered to clean it up but I was like: No! Just get your child home before it pukes on anything else.
So I got to work mopping up what looked like tuna chunks and put up 3 yellow caution signs around the wet floor...but guess what. Only about half a dozen people out of all the customers in A&C over the period of half an hour actually took any notice of the signs.
Customer coming through, make way! A wet floor? Caution? Don’t be so ridiculous! I’m going to walk through here with the same cavalier attitude I always have when I go shopping.
So I stood there and warned people myself. I didn’t have to, our asses were covered with the safety signs so if anyone decided to take a dive, they wouldn’t have a law suit leg to stand on....literally. I just thought it would save a lot of trouble in the long run if I prevented an accident, rather than having to prove a customer wrong after one. We know they don’t like that.
These are a few highlights in the monotony of stupidity:
A 3 year old boy came racing down the aisle and I practically had to catch him to stop him. He then tries to walk back over the wet floor when his dad behind him tells him not to before proceeding to push a trolley over it himself.
You gotta be careful, son. We don’t want you falling and hurting yourself. You wait there. But it’s ok for Daddy to walk over it. Daddy’s older. He’s got further to fall and his bones are brittler.
And I was the one who got the dirty look for having the nerve to speak to his child in the first place! Great example of bad parenting right there. Nice work!
Another man comes up to me and asks “Could you get something down for me from the wall, or go and find someone who can?”.
Do you realise what you just said? How fucking short-sighted can you be? I still have to leave to go and get someone!
So I went to help him, and ended up dropping a plastic box on him from height, scoring 10 points. A hit on the head gets you 50 points.
A little while later, when the floor was nearly dry, I was approached by the little boy from earlier who wanted to know if he could walk that way yet. I said he’d have to walk around the right side of the signs, as that side was dry now. He interrogated me further before being called back by his father again, and when I looked up I saw a woman laughing in the aisle opposite. She comes up to me and says “That was hilarious. ‘Can I go this way? Can I go that way?’. It was so funny”.
At first I didn’t know she was referring to the little boy and I told her I was surprised by how many people ignore the caution signs. We had a bit of a laugh and she said “You could stand there all day and do psychological studies”. I thought: you do not know how close you are.
Later, I saw her again and she said to her mother “This is the girl that had to put up with that boy. You did very well. I don’t think I would have been as nice”.
I would like to thank this woman for being so understanding, and for giving me a laugh at a time when I needed it most. It was a Saturday, I’d just cleaned up sick, and my faith in humanity was reaching an all time low. Her, and her mother, were a joy to serve and they’ve delayed my trip to the psych ward for a little longer.
They deserve the Best Customers of All Time Award.
And they made it look so easy. How come ever other customer finds it so difficult?
Yesterday, I had to clean up puke. Some little kid decided to throw up on A&C and I got the job of cleaning it because I could handle the sight and smell without throwing up myself. I don’t mind, I’ve cleaned up some kids piss before and it’s not like I have to get down and lick it. I better get used to that kinda stuff anyway, I’ll be no good as a nurse if I’m squeamish. The mother even offered to clean it up but I was like: No! Just get your child home before it pukes on anything else.
So I got to work mopping up what looked like tuna chunks and put up 3 yellow caution signs around the wet floor...but guess what. Only about half a dozen people out of all the customers in A&C over the period of half an hour actually took any notice of the signs.
Customer coming through, make way! A wet floor? Caution? Don’t be so ridiculous! I’m going to walk through here with the same cavalier attitude I always have when I go shopping.
These are a few highlights in the monotony of stupidity:
A 3 year old boy came racing down the aisle and I practically had to catch him to stop him. He then tries to walk back over the wet floor when his dad behind him tells him not to before proceeding to push a trolley over it himself.
You gotta be careful, son. We don’t want you falling and hurting yourself. You wait there. But it’s ok for Daddy to walk over it. Daddy’s older. He’s got further to fall and his bones are brittler.
And I was the one who got the dirty look for having the nerve to speak to his child in the first place! Great example of bad parenting right there. Nice work!
Another man comes up to me and asks “Could you get something down for me from the wall, or go and find someone who can?”.
Do you realise what you just said? How fucking short-sighted can you be? I still have to leave to go and get someone!
So I went to help him, and ended up dropping a plastic box on him from height, scoring 10 points. A hit on the head gets you 50 points.
A little while later, when the floor was nearly dry, I was approached by the little boy from earlier who wanted to know if he could walk that way yet. I said he’d have to walk around the right side of the signs, as that side was dry now. He interrogated me further before being called back by his father again, and when I looked up I saw a woman laughing in the aisle opposite. She comes up to me and says “That was hilarious. ‘Can I go this way? Can I go that way?’. It was so funny”.
At first I didn’t know she was referring to the little boy and I told her I was surprised by how many people ignore the caution signs. We had a bit of a laugh and she said “You could stand there all day and do psychological studies”. I thought: you do not know how close you are.
Later, I saw her again and she said to her mother “This is the girl that had to put up with that boy. You did very well. I don’t think I would have been as nice”.
I would like to thank this woman for being so understanding, and for giving me a laugh at a time when I needed it most. It was a Saturday, I’d just cleaned up sick, and my faith in humanity was reaching an all time low. Her, and her mother, were a joy to serve and they’ve delayed my trip to the psych ward for a little longer.
They deserve the Best Customers of All Time Award.
And they made it look so easy. How come ever other customer finds it so difficult?
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Accidental Fly Trap
25/09/08 16:47 Filed in: Random
Our store is having a massive move around this week, and while me and a colleague were putting stock back out we found this:
They’re “crunchy chocolate cookie” scented candles avec houseflies. How crunchy is a smell, I don’t know, but the flies are obviously a fan. I’ve no idea how they got in there, and they had no idea how to get out so it became their tomb.
I was tempted to put it back on the shelf, but instead I left it in the warehouse for someone to find the next morning.
One guy almost threw up over it. He has just got out of hospital though so I’ll let him off.
I was tempted to put it back on the shelf, but instead I left it in the warehouse for someone to find the next morning.
One guy almost threw up over it. He has just got out of hospital though so I’ll let him off.
Piggy Customer Hell Turns Into Pigsty
09/09/08 14:34 Filed in: Stories
I haven’t been able to take pictures of piggy customer hell recently (because I got a new phone with a crappy camera), but I have found more in the past week alone than I have since Christmas. I had half a mind to keep hold of everything I found then take a picture of all of it together, just to illustrate how much shit gets left on our shelves, but then I realised how disgusting that would be.
So, in the past week I’ve found:
1x Capri-sun carton
1x Powerade bottle
1x Mars Delight wrapper
1x Dairy Milk wrapper
1x lipsticky tissue
1x half-eaten sandwich crust
1x empty coffee cup
1x Ribena carton
I think that’s it. People are so dirty, yeuk!
Also last week, I watched a woman leave the shop with one of our baskets inside one of our trollies. Why have a basket in a trolly? I kept an eye on her through the window, wondering what she was going to do with the basket. It was only when she got to the trolley park that she seemed to realise she still had the basket and proceeded to leave it haphazardly on top of the rest of the trollies. So I went outside, walked straight up to her, wrenched the basket off the trollies and said “I’ll take that back for you!”. That seemed to give her a fright and she kept saying “Oh, sorry love, sorry”.
Satisfaction!
So, in the past week I’ve found:
1x Capri-sun carton
1x Powerade bottle
1x Mars Delight wrapper
1x Dairy Milk wrapper
1x lipsticky tissue
1x half-eaten sandwich crust
1x empty coffee cup
1x Ribena carton
I think that’s it. People are so dirty, yeuk!
Also last week, I watched a woman leave the shop with one of our baskets inside one of our trollies. Why have a basket in a trolly? I kept an eye on her through the window, wondering what she was going to do with the basket. It was only when she got to the trolley park that she seemed to realise she still had the basket and proceeded to leave it haphazardly on top of the rest of the trollies. So I went outside, walked straight up to her, wrenched the basket off the trollies and said “I’ll take that back for you!”. That seemed to give her a fright and she kept saying “Oh, sorry love, sorry”.
Satisfaction!
Two Sides of the Same Coin
04/09/08 22:35 Filed in: Stories
On Wednesday night a young couple came in looking to buy a fish tank and had seen one they liked but the price label below it said £12.99. They were really nice and polite and genuinely thought that was the price but I offered to check it for them because I knew it wasn’t. The actual price was £59.99! They didn’t get angry, they just seemed really disappointed. Y’know when your parents say that to you “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” like it’s so much worse? Well, I did feel kinda bad.
However, it turned out the girlfriend is the deputy manager of a jewelers and is a stickler for pricing; get the price of a ring wrong and you could end up losing thousands. So she asked for the address of head office, which I said they could get from customer service, and I also suggested they talk to the manager before they left.
Unlike the guy who was complaining about the price of the canvases, I totally understand where this couple were coming from. The price was wrong, full stop, and although the description on the label didn’t fit the tank, it was above head height so it was hard to read anyway. I was really fortunate that they were so laid back otherwise I would have been on the front line facing a full on customer bitch attack.
So, while the girl went off to customer service I stayed behind with the guy and tried to work out some order with the remaining prices. Over half the fish tanks were incorrectly priced! And I dread to think what the rest of the department was like. I tried not to make excuses and blatantly said that the guy who ran that department was incompetent. I know I shouldn’t say things like that to customers but they both worked in retail so they know what it’s like anyway. It was ages before she returned from customer service and the first thing she said was the behaviour she’d seen from the staff over there was disgusting. Way to rub salt in a wound!
Apparently Scary Mary had been eating behind the desk and swearing loudly and someone else had been drinking a bottle of pop. We were just waiting for the manager to come over when she said to me “Don’t worry, I said you were exceptional” which made me feel slightly better but I still felt ashamed on behalf of the people on customer service.
In the end the manager gave them 20% off the tank and assured them that the guy on that department would be fired, blah blah blah. I was like yeah right, but I’d thought he’d at least get written up for it. All that’s happened is he’s got a bollocking and been told to get the department in order. Big deal, that happens every few months or so and guess who was one of the people who had to pick up the pieces last time. Yeah-me.
a) It shouldn’t be left to get like that, and b) it shouldn’t be other people that have to sort out that department while the guy gets nothing but a slap on the wrist. Discipline is a really big problem in our store. No one is afraid of the consequences if they don’t do any work because there won’t be any.
I really hope that couple do write to head office because the company won’t listen to anyone else.
Something I found funny though was how the people on customer service couldn’t stop going on about how much of a bitch the girl was when I thought they were some of the nicest, understanding customers I’ve ever had. It just shows how some customers can be ordinary nice people in other circumstances but shops seem to bring out the worst in them, it just depends what side you find yourself on.
However, it turned out the girlfriend is the deputy manager of a jewelers and is a stickler for pricing; get the price of a ring wrong and you could end up losing thousands. So she asked for the address of head office, which I said they could get from customer service, and I also suggested they talk to the manager before they left.
Unlike the guy who was complaining about the price of the canvases, I totally understand where this couple were coming from. The price was wrong, full stop, and although the description on the label didn’t fit the tank, it was above head height so it was hard to read anyway. I was really fortunate that they were so laid back otherwise I would have been on the front line facing a full on customer bitch attack.
So, while the girl went off to customer service I stayed behind with the guy and tried to work out some order with the remaining prices. Over half the fish tanks were incorrectly priced! And I dread to think what the rest of the department was like. I tried not to make excuses and blatantly said that the guy who ran that department was incompetent. I know I shouldn’t say things like that to customers but they both worked in retail so they know what it’s like anyway. It was ages before she returned from customer service and the first thing she said was the behaviour she’d seen from the staff over there was disgusting. Way to rub salt in a wound!
Apparently Scary Mary had been eating behind the desk and swearing loudly and someone else had been drinking a bottle of pop. We were just waiting for the manager to come over when she said to me “Don’t worry, I said you were exceptional” which made me feel slightly better but I still felt ashamed on behalf of the people on customer service.
In the end the manager gave them 20% off the tank and assured them that the guy on that department would be fired, blah blah blah. I was like yeah right, but I’d thought he’d at least get written up for it. All that’s happened is he’s got a bollocking and been told to get the department in order. Big deal, that happens every few months or so and guess who was one of the people who had to pick up the pieces last time. Yeah-me.
a) It shouldn’t be left to get like that, and b) it shouldn’t be other people that have to sort out that department while the guy gets nothing but a slap on the wrist. Discipline is a really big problem in our store. No one is afraid of the consequences if they don’t do any work because there won’t be any.
I really hope that couple do write to head office because the company won’t listen to anyone else.
Something I found funny though was how the people on customer service couldn’t stop going on about how much of a bitch the girl was when I thought they were some of the nicest, understanding customers I’ve ever had. It just shows how some customers can be ordinary nice people in other circumstances but shops seem to bring out the worst in them, it just depends what side you find yourself on.
Poo Story
23/08/08 19:30 Filed in: Stories
Here’s a real life, bona fide poo story from my previously mentioned friend who went to work for anonymous big-ass company. Retail Heaven just got shittier:
It happened on Wednesday morning when the cleaner started freaking out after she’d gone to clean the toilets. She’d started emptying the bin, something you have to do with your hands as there’s no bag, when she realised just what she’d picked up. Shit! That’s not an exclamation, someone had actually taken a dump in the bin! I only hope she was wearing gloves at the time.
The design of the bathroom incorporates the bin into the wall directly under the paper towl dispenser so it’s only meant for the paper towls, hense why you can’t get a bin bag inside it and why it’s assumed safe to empty with your hands. It also means that the culprit would have had a pretty hard time trying to get their ass in there.
But what makes it even harder to accept is that there are no customer toilets in the store, only staff toilets.
The perpetrator is still among them.
It happened on Wednesday morning when the cleaner started freaking out after she’d gone to clean the toilets. She’d started emptying the bin, something you have to do with your hands as there’s no bag, when she realised just what she’d picked up. Shit! That’s not an exclamation, someone had actually taken a dump in the bin! I only hope she was wearing gloves at the time.
The design of the bathroom incorporates the bin into the wall directly under the paper towl dispenser so it’s only meant for the paper towls, hense why you can’t get a bin bag inside it and why it’s assumed safe to empty with your hands. It also means that the culprit would have had a pretty hard time trying to get their ass in there.
But what makes it even harder to accept is that there are no customer toilets in the store, only staff toilets.
The perpetrator is still among them.
Well We Are 98% Chimp
29/06/08 18:09 Filed in: Evidence!
I’m walking around, doing some pricing on Friday night and what do I find?
A skanky banana skin left in a frying pan. Yuk!
Litter, like bits of paper and wrappers, is bad enough. But leaving food is just disgusting! What if they’d hidden it at the back of a shelf and someone wouldn’t have found it for a few days?
Some people need help. Some people belong in a zoo.
Something funny that struck me though was that we had everything we’d need in the store to cook this banana skin.
(Banana skin + frying pan) + camping stove + customers = customer’s face + (my hand + high speed).
A skanky banana skin left in a frying pan. Yuk!
Litter, like bits of paper and wrappers, is bad enough. But leaving food is just disgusting! What if they’d hidden it at the back of a shelf and someone wouldn’t have found it for a few days?
Some people need help. Some people belong in a zoo.
Something funny that struck me though was that we had everything we’d need in the store to cook this banana skin.
(Banana skin + frying pan) + camping stove + customers = customer’s face + (my hand + high speed).
Beyond me, beyond help.
23/06/08 23:29 Filed in: Stories
These Fitting Room Nightmares make me soooo glad I don’t work in a clothes store.
I’v seen Primark left in a pretty bad way, but that’s not even the half of it. Not only do people rip clothes because they’re too fat, but they leave their litter and even take a dump in there. Obviously toilets are too good for some people.
I’v heard some disgusting things about our customer toilets from our store cleaner. For instance, one woman decided she didn’t want to put her used sanitary towel in the appropriate bin and stuck it to the toilet instead. Sick!
And another woman needed to change her baby but didn’t have anything to clean it with, so she went and got a towel from the shelf, wiped her shitty baby with it and just left it in the toilets. Classy! I bet she wasn’t a day over 18.
And then other customers have the nerve to complain about the state of the toilets! “Don’t they get cleaned?!” they say. Yes, but then your fellow revolting customers come along and dirty them up again.
But they’re toilets. At least that’s where shit belongs, not in fitting rooms. Okay, so maybe you have a bowel problem, but if thats the case, shouldn’t you stay at home, or at least overdose on Imodium before you leave the house.
I just don’t get some people. Angry customers making your life hell is one thing, but people who make your life HELL at risk of personal embarrassment to themselves is something else!
I’m still struggling to comprehend it.
I’v seen Primark left in a pretty bad way, but that’s not even the half of it. Not only do people rip clothes because they’re too fat, but they leave their litter and even take a dump in there. Obviously toilets are too good for some people.
I’v heard some disgusting things about our customer toilets from our store cleaner. For instance, one woman decided she didn’t want to put her used sanitary towel in the appropriate bin and stuck it to the toilet instead. Sick!
And another woman needed to change her baby but didn’t have anything to clean it with, so she went and got a towel from the shelf, wiped her shitty baby with it and just left it in the toilets. Classy! I bet she wasn’t a day over 18.
And then other customers have the nerve to complain about the state of the toilets! “Don’t they get cleaned?!” they say. Yes, but then your fellow revolting customers come along and dirty them up again.
But they’re toilets. At least that’s where shit belongs, not in fitting rooms. Okay, so maybe you have a bowel problem, but if thats the case, shouldn’t you stay at home, or at least overdose on Imodium before you leave the house.
I just don’t get some people. Angry customers making your life hell is one thing, but people who make your life HELL at risk of personal embarrassment to themselves is something else!
I’m still struggling to comprehend it.
Strawberry Fields Forever: Greedy customers get barred.
19/06/08 18:06 Filed in: Stories
I heard on the radio today that a farmer has had to close his strawberry fields to people wanting to pick their own strawberries because too many people were leaving without paying.
The farm had been running since 1923 but they lost so much of the crop last year due to people not paying (and poor weather conditions) that they can’t afford to open it to the public anymore. I’m not sure if they’ve closed the farm completely or just to the public.
One family he saw walking round had a bowl of water and some cream and were eating the strawberries as they went. When they got back to the exit they claimed they hadn’t found any and left.
Another woman used her skirt to carry a load of strawberries to the car while her husband went to the counter, claimed they could hardly find any and paid for about 3 strawberries.
There were also countless people who would turn up at the counter with their face and clothes covered in juice and only pay for the couple of strawberries they’d have in their basket.
What is wrong with these people? This man is trying to run a business, and farmers are struggling enough as it is. How is not paying for the strawberries you stuffed your face with while going round the field any different than scoffing an ice bun in the supermarket and not telling the cashier?
Children were also responsible for destroying a lot of the crop because they’d run around, knock the fruit off then either stand on them or throw them, and the parents would do nothing. Another case of bad parenting. Why aren’t these people sterilised?
One person rang in to the radio station and said “This is just farmers being greedy. They should employ people to pick them and not exploit people by getting them to pick them for free.”
What? Exploitation? It’s not the farmer doing the exploiting! It’s the greedy fucking customers again! Just because he’s not paying anyone to pick them, doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. He still has to sell the strawberries to make a living.
This has pissed me off no end. I know it’s only a strawberry field. Hell, I won’t miss it. But the fucking cheek of some of these people. Taking cream with them for crying out loud!
“It’s ok, it’s only a few strawberries”. How about I feed your kids to a pack of wolves, then you wouldn’t have as many mouths to feed.
Sorted!
The farm had been running since 1923 but they lost so much of the crop last year due to people not paying (and poor weather conditions) that they can’t afford to open it to the public anymore. I’m not sure if they’ve closed the farm completely or just to the public.
One family he saw walking round had a bowl of water and some cream and were eating the strawberries as they went. When they got back to the exit they claimed they hadn’t found any and left.
Another woman used her skirt to carry a load of strawberries to the car while her husband went to the counter, claimed they could hardly find any and paid for about 3 strawberries.
There were also countless people who would turn up at the counter with their face and clothes covered in juice and only pay for the couple of strawberries they’d have in their basket.
What is wrong with these people? This man is trying to run a business, and farmers are struggling enough as it is. How is not paying for the strawberries you stuffed your face with while going round the field any different than scoffing an ice bun in the supermarket and not telling the cashier?
Children were also responsible for destroying a lot of the crop because they’d run around, knock the fruit off then either stand on them or throw them, and the parents would do nothing. Another case of bad parenting. Why aren’t these people sterilised?
One person rang in to the radio station and said “This is just farmers being greedy. They should employ people to pick them and not exploit people by getting them to pick them for free.”
What? Exploitation? It’s not the farmer doing the exploiting! It’s the greedy fucking customers again! Just because he’s not paying anyone to pick them, doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. He still has to sell the strawberries to make a living.
This has pissed me off no end. I know it’s only a strawberry field. Hell, I won’t miss it. But the fucking cheek of some of these people. Taking cream with them for crying out loud!
“It’s ok, it’s only a few strawberries”. How about I feed your kids to a pack of wolves, then you wouldn’t have as many mouths to feed.
Sorted!
Sleazy-ass dirty customers
16/06/08 23:09 Filed in: Stories
Carolanne, of Retail Hell Underground, posted about something which I, fortunately, haven’t have much experience of: Sleazy-ass dirty customers! Although I haven’t had any really bad, pervy customers, I do have to work with a couple of sleazy-ass dirty male colleagues.
One is just plain creepy. I think everyone finds him creepy, male or female. I just don’t think he’s very “socially well-adjusted”, rather than sleazy. He doesn’t know the right things to say to people, or maybe he just has the weirdest sense of humour of anyone I’ve ever come across. He says the strangest things sometimes. But there’s quite a few disturbing rumours floating round about him, which I don’t thoroughly believe, and everyone jokes about going round to his house. I do my best to avoid him, because he does freak me out a bit, and just incase he is some sex predator. Not that I’m suggesting he is, but just in case.
The other sleazy colleague always tries to joke about going out for a drink.....constantly. There’s stuff floating round about him too but he’s not half as creepy as the other guy.
As for pervy customers, the only one I can remember is an old man who told me I had a dusty arse, but that was it. Hardly a sleazy-ass dirty stalker shopper.
The fact is I always have a dusty arse because I find excuses to sit on the floor so I'm not on my feet all day. Half the staff have told me and I'm past the point of caring.
There is a much worse example of a pervy customer in Carolanne’s post. Yuk!
Y’know that game: Fuck, Marry, Kill? There should be one to categorise the disgustingness of sleazy-ass dirty customers, ie. Shiver, Puke, Die.
Shiver - I wish I hadn’t heard that; Puke - nauseas and possibly mentally scarred; Die - kill me now!.
Mine only reach Shiver, and for that I’m eternally grateful.
One is just plain creepy. I think everyone finds him creepy, male or female. I just don’t think he’s very “socially well-adjusted”, rather than sleazy. He doesn’t know the right things to say to people, or maybe he just has the weirdest sense of humour of anyone I’ve ever come across. He says the strangest things sometimes. But there’s quite a few disturbing rumours floating round about him, which I don’t thoroughly believe, and everyone jokes about going round to his house. I do my best to avoid him, because he does freak me out a bit, and just incase he is some sex predator. Not that I’m suggesting he is, but just in case.
The other sleazy colleague always tries to joke about going out for a drink.....constantly. There’s stuff floating round about him too but he’s not half as creepy as the other guy.
As for pervy customers, the only one I can remember is an old man who told me I had a dusty arse, but that was it. Hardly a sleazy-ass dirty stalker shopper.
The fact is I always have a dusty arse because I find excuses to sit on the floor so I'm not on my feet all day. Half the staff have told me and I'm past the point of caring.
There is a much worse example of a pervy customer in Carolanne’s post. Yuk!
Y’know that game: Fuck, Marry, Kill? There should be one to categorise the disgustingness of sleazy-ass dirty customers, ie. Shiver, Puke, Die.
Shiver - I wish I hadn’t heard that; Puke - nauseas and possibly mentally scarred; Die - kill me now!.
Mine only reach Shiver, and for that I’m eternally grateful.
