Wake Me When It's January
10/11/08 16:11
I fortunately haven’t had any really bad customers over the past week, but because karma’s a bitch, we’ve had to listen to Christmas songs since the 1st November. Two months we have to put up with Christmas for!
But it doesn’t just stop with the music. Staff had to wear Santa hats over the weekend and one person even donned a Santa suit (beard included) and walked around handing out sweets to customers. By the end of the day there were sweet wrappers everywhere. Typical!
I hate having to scan and bag Christmas decs too. They’re so tacky and get all tangled up and they’re just a constant reminder that it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.
When it gets a bit closer to Christmas, the Seasonal department will start looking more and more like a bomb site. Customers will rampage through it like a pack of animals, like in Jumanji. They’ll moan about queuing, even though we’ll have every till open. Stressed Out Mum Syndrom won’t just apply to mothers and everyone will become a hillbilly with knife skills.
The credit crunch does seem to be softening the blow a bit, thank god! I know that’s not good for business but it might make this holiday season a little easier to bear.
A little over 6 weeks and it will all be over. 45 days until Boxing Day. The countdown begins...
But it doesn’t just stop with the music. Staff had to wear Santa hats over the weekend and one person even donned a Santa suit (beard included) and walked around handing out sweets to customers. By the end of the day there were sweet wrappers everywhere. Typical!
I hate having to scan and bag Christmas decs too. They’re so tacky and get all tangled up and they’re just a constant reminder that it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.
When it gets a bit closer to Christmas, the Seasonal department will start looking more and more like a bomb site. Customers will rampage through it like a pack of animals, like in Jumanji. They’ll moan about queuing, even though we’ll have every till open. Stressed Out Mum Syndrom won’t just apply to mothers and everyone will become a hillbilly with knife skills.
The credit crunch does seem to be softening the blow a bit, thank god! I know that’s not good for business but it might make this holiday season a little easier to bear.
A little over 6 weeks and it will all be over. 45 days until Boxing Day. The countdown begins...
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Consumer Politics
09/11/08 16:06
When did the saying "The customer is always right" first come about? It's so engrained into consumer politics that for a party to disagree with it would be political, therefore economical, suicide.
It also seems that the bigger stores get, the louder customers feel they need to shout and stamp to be heard. Anyone else have a constant ringing in their ears?
For instance, before the friendly neighbourhood stores were driven out of business by the likes of Tesco, I can't imagine a customer going into their local corner shop effing and blinding to try and settle a dispute. The shopkeeper was quite possibly their neighbour so any disagreements could be resolved in person, and peacefully.
No need to ring their "customer helpline", or write to head office, or even Trading Standards; the guy behind the counter was probably "the man".
But now individual customers don't have the same hold over shops that they used to. Threatening to withdraw their custom doesn't have the same impact anymore. When a customer says to me "Well! I won't be shopping here anymore", I just think- yeah right. I'll just go and inform the manager that The Important Mrs. A will be shopping at Woolworths in future, but when you can't find that love seat anywhere else, you'll be back.
So customers resort to other tactics: threatening your job, threatening to ring Trading Standards, threatening to sue. I’m sure there’s always been people like this but it’s becoming more acceptable to be an asshole in public.
It’s ironic that as customers become more insecure, they deal with their problems in the least helpful way. Since when did being an A-hole gain you any empathy? I’m much more willing to help someone when they’re being civil rather than rude, and yet they still usually leave with what they wanted because it’s the only way to do business.
I know I sometimes struggle to keep it together myself. I recently got asked for ID even though I wasn’t even buying anything, but my boyfriend was buying alcohol. Since when have companies started asking not only the customer for ID, but every other person they’re with for ID too? I can sort of see where they’re coming from, but if they’re going to start doing that, where does it end? Will we need references soon?
True, the alcohol was for me and I’d taken my ID out my bag literally that morning so I was even more annoyed. It was my mistake and I didn’t take it out on the cashier. She was really nice too. Being rude to her would have gained nothing, but you shouldn’t have to work in retail to know that. It should be common sense.
I just wish Joe Public weren’t under the illusion that they are always right, and that companies didn’t indulge their stupid fantasy. There’s no give and take, just taking on both sides.
We take their money, they milk us for everything we’ve got.
It also seems that the bigger stores get, the louder customers feel they need to shout and stamp to be heard. Anyone else have a constant ringing in their ears?
For instance, before the friendly neighbourhood stores were driven out of business by the likes of Tesco, I can't imagine a customer going into their local corner shop effing and blinding to try and settle a dispute. The shopkeeper was quite possibly their neighbour so any disagreements could be resolved in person, and peacefully.
No need to ring their "customer helpline", or write to head office, or even Trading Standards; the guy behind the counter was probably "the man".
But now individual customers don't have the same hold over shops that they used to. Threatening to withdraw their custom doesn't have the same impact anymore. When a customer says to me "Well! I won't be shopping here anymore", I just think- yeah right. I'll just go and inform the manager that The Important Mrs. A will be shopping at Woolworths in future, but when you can't find that love seat anywhere else, you'll be back.
It’s ironic that as customers become more insecure, they deal with their problems in the least helpful way. Since when did being an A-hole gain you any empathy? I’m much more willing to help someone when they’re being civil rather than rude, and yet they still usually leave with what they wanted because it’s the only way to do business.
I know I sometimes struggle to keep it together myself. I recently got asked for ID even though I wasn’t even buying anything, but my boyfriend was buying alcohol. Since when have companies started asking not only the customer for ID, but every other person they’re with for ID too? I can sort of see where they’re coming from, but if they’re going to start doing that, where does it end? Will we need references soon?
True, the alcohol was for me and I’d taken my ID out my bag literally that morning so I was even more annoyed. It was my mistake and I didn’t take it out on the cashier. She was really nice too. Being rude to her would have gained nothing, but you shouldn’t have to work in retail to know that. It should be common sense.
I just wish Joe Public weren’t under the illusion that they are always right, and that companies didn’t indulge their stupid fantasy. There’s no give and take, just taking on both sides.
We take their money, they milk us for everything we’ve got.
Just What Did You Sign Up For?
21/10/08 15:41
What does a job in retail...entail?
When you applied for your retail position, did you know what you were getting yourself into? We know employers like to give jobs fancy titles and long-winded, long-worded descriptions, but it doesn’t take a genius to work out what all that “shoptalk” actually means?
Officially, a job in retail generally involves:
How about that last one though? General retail duties-whatever the hell they tell you to do. It could mean anything. Even your employer doesn’t even know what it means until there’s a really nasty job to do. You have no idea what your signing yourself up to. Unless you’ve worked in retail before, that is.
I went looking through some of the vacancies on a jobs listings website. Most list the above, but some like to go a little overboard.
120%! High calibre! Superior! Progress your career! Succeed! Pow pow! All these words that...don’t...mean...a thing. If they want someone of such proficiency, isn’t that person not only going to suss out that “stock replenishment” isn’t such a demanding and fulfilling career, but also run a mile in the opposite direction.
Overtime is freely available-we’re only going to contract you for 20 hours so you’re entitled to less holiday, but we’re really going to give you 48, and if you don’t want the 48 hours, well you’re not really giving 120%.
What strikes me about that particular advert is that it is only for a temporary position. Yes, if you’re good enough they’ll make it permanent, but lets be honest, who isn’t capable of stacking shelves?
Here’s another, fairly rushed-looking ad for somewhere I would definitely not want to work:
The poor grammar in this ad speaks louder than words, but they also say “& any other duties as required”. In my store that would mean cleaning the toilets and the canteen. The canteen I do for everyone’s benefit, but I refuse to clean lazy individuals dirty dishes. Fortunately, they’ve never asked me to clean the toilets, although I know other people have despite the store having a cleaner-make that a glorified floor buffer. Not that I would clean them if asked anyway.
In my first job it meant going to a stationers and buying 11 lever arch files and carting them back to the store. Not the worst thing I could have done, but I still remember exactly who the cashier was and he still remembers me-the girl who bought 11 lever arch files. He became a Topshop boy, I still think he looks like a weed.
If you were to ask a customer what they thought your job was though, they’d most likely list all those things at the top. One thing I’d put money on them not saying is “Taking abuse from me”. That could go for traffic wardens, hospital staff, and many other professions as well. Funny, isn’t it? No one should expect part of their job to be getting the backlash from someone else’s misery, you don’t get paid for it, and yet the people dishing it out just expect you to take it. If I were to tell this to the next customer who gets a cob on with me, they’d probably threaten my job, and yet they wouldn’t stand for any abuse directed at them. If I was sentenced to say “People are stupid” continuously for the rest of my life, I still wouldn’t have said it enough.
When you applied for your retail position, did you know what you were getting yourself into? We know employers like to give jobs fancy titles and long-winded, long-worded descriptions, but it doesn’t take a genius to work out what all that “shoptalk” actually means?
Officially, a job in retail generally involves:
- Providing good customer service
- Stock replenishment and merchandising
- Handling cash and operating the till
- Ensuring store is neat and tidy
- “General retail duties”
How about that last one though? General retail duties-whatever the hell they tell you to do. It could mean anything. Even your employer doesn’t even know what it means until there’s a really nasty job to do. You have no idea what your signing yourself up to. Unless you’ve worked in retail before, that is.
I went looking through some of the vacancies on a jobs listings website. Most list the above, but some like to go a little overboard.
120%! High calibre! Superior! Progress your career! Succeed! Pow pow! All these words that...don’t...mean...a thing. If they want someone of such proficiency, isn’t that person not only going to suss out that “stock replenishment” isn’t such a demanding and fulfilling career, but also run a mile in the opposite direction.
Overtime is freely available-we’re only going to contract you for 20 hours so you’re entitled to less holiday, but we’re really going to give you 48, and if you don’t want the 48 hours, well you’re not really giving 120%.
What strikes me about that particular advert is that it is only for a temporary position. Yes, if you’re good enough they’ll make it permanent, but lets be honest, who isn’t capable of stacking shelves?
Here’s another, fairly rushed-looking ad for somewhere I would definitely not want to work:
The poor grammar in this ad speaks louder than words, but they also say “& any other duties as required”. In my store that would mean cleaning the toilets and the canteen. The canteen I do for everyone’s benefit, but I refuse to clean lazy individuals dirty dishes. Fortunately, they’ve never asked me to clean the toilets, although I know other people have despite the store having a cleaner-make that a glorified floor buffer. Not that I would clean them if asked anyway.
In my first job it meant going to a stationers and buying 11 lever arch files and carting them back to the store. Not the worst thing I could have done, but I still remember exactly who the cashier was and he still remembers me-the girl who bought 11 lever arch files. He became a Topshop boy, I still think he looks like a weed.
If you were to ask a customer what they thought your job was though, they’d most likely list all those things at the top. One thing I’d put money on them not saying is “Taking abuse from me”. That could go for traffic wardens, hospital staff, and many other professions as well. Funny, isn’t it? No one should expect part of their job to be getting the backlash from someone else’s misery, you don’t get paid for it, and yet the people dishing it out just expect you to take it. If I were to tell this to the next customer who gets a cob on with me, they’d probably threaten my job, and yet they wouldn’t stand for any abuse directed at them. If I was sentenced to say “People are stupid” continuously for the rest of my life, I still wouldn’t have said it enough.
Diagnosis: Psychosis
13/10/08 18:29
I don’t know why it is that some people simply forget how to read when they go shopping, but I no longer feel it only applies to stores. More and more I’ve noticed that people become illiterate as soon as they leave the house; or maybe I’ve been mislead in thinking people are generally better educated these days and their illiteracy actually has nothing to do with fresh air or price tags.
I see this phenomenon almost daily, on my way to work.
One of the buses I can get to work doubles back on itself for part of it’s route, so no matter which way you’re going, buses traveling to either destination stop at the same stops, on the same side of the road, sometimes at the same time down the same stretch of road before splitting up and going their own separate ways again. Good job they have their destination displayed on the front otherwise you wouldn’t know which one was which.
You’d think.
So often people try and get on the wrong bus and it’s only because they have to state where they’re getting off that they get rumbled. The drivers must despair. I despair!
Yesterday a man got on with a free pass. He didn’t have to say where he was going so the driver couldn’t save him the trouble of jumping out his seat as soon as we got round the corner and getting off at the next stop because he’s got on the wrong bus.
I would have thought that people getting on on that stretch of road would be a little more observant, seeing as there’s a 50/50 chance the bus is going the opposite way to where they’re going.
However, looking at the front of the bus doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve paid any attention. I saw one woman who was absolutely adamant she’d got on the right bus even though all signs told her otherwise.
As further testament to peoples blind stupidity, we’ve recently moved a few of our departments round and despite having to walk past shelf upon shelf of pictures frames and dodge displays of mirrors on their way in, customers still get upstairs and ask where Gallery went. There’s even notices on the front door stating there’s been a refit and the new location of certain departments.
Apart from not seeing the wood for the trees, is it just laziness or do people seriously think that all these signs and notices don’t apply to them? In their universe the bus is going where they want and Gallery is still found upstairs because they’re the customer (or passenger) and they are always right, even when they’re wrong.
If only it was as easy as Adam Savage makes it sound: “I reject your reality and substitute my own”.
I see this phenomenon almost daily, on my way to work.
One of the buses I can get to work doubles back on itself for part of it’s route, so no matter which way you’re going, buses traveling to either destination stop at the same stops, on the same side of the road, sometimes at the same time down the same stretch of road before splitting up and going their own separate ways again. Good job they have their destination displayed on the front otherwise you wouldn’t know which one was which.
You’d think.
So often people try and get on the wrong bus and it’s only because they have to state where they’re getting off that they get rumbled. The drivers must despair. I despair!
Yesterday a man got on with a free pass. He didn’t have to say where he was going so the driver couldn’t save him the trouble of jumping out his seat as soon as we got round the corner and getting off at the next stop because he’s got on the wrong bus.
I would have thought that people getting on on that stretch of road would be a little more observant, seeing as there’s a 50/50 chance the bus is going the opposite way to where they’re going.
However, looking at the front of the bus doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve paid any attention. I saw one woman who was absolutely adamant she’d got on the right bus even though all signs told her otherwise.
As further testament to peoples blind stupidity, we’ve recently moved a few of our departments round and despite having to walk past shelf upon shelf of pictures frames and dodge displays of mirrors on their way in, customers still get upstairs and ask where Gallery went. There’s even notices on the front door stating there’s been a refit and the new location of certain departments.
Apart from not seeing the wood for the trees, is it just laziness or do people seriously think that all these signs and notices don’t apply to them? In their universe the bus is going where they want and Gallery is still found upstairs because they’re the customer (or passenger) and they are always right, even when they’re wrong.
If only it was as easy as Adam Savage makes it sound: “I reject your reality and substitute my own”.
Even Cats Know Better
27/09/08 20:26
Yesterday, something struck me at work. It wasn't a canvas this time, just a thought I'd had and forgotten several times before.
Why do customers think it's okay to destroy stock and demand unreasonable compensation from stores because they think "these big corporate companies" can afford it?
I know they're trying to hurt the fat cats where it hurts-their wallet, but if the company I work for starts making a loss, it's going to start closing stores, and who's that going to affect? Us.
The big CEOs at the top will always try to make sure they're left with as much money in their pockets as possible, while the people at the bottom are left with no job, and before long, no money.
Why don't customers realise this?! By destroying stock they're only making more work and more losses for our store. Their argument would be "Well, that's what you get paid for", but how is that an excuse?
Yes, we have to tidy up after piggy customers all day so.....what? That's a reason to rip things apart, crumple things up and tread on them? You think you're doing us a favour by creating more work and keeping us in a job?
The only thing you're really doing is jeopardising my livelihood and making yourself look like a dick.
(Only stupider!)
These thoughts were triggered yesterday when I went to tidy the cross-stitch/knitting area and found every single box of the beginner knitting sets had been ripped open. They're sealed in several places with tape and when they can't pick the tape off, the customers resort to ripping around them. What I don't get is why every single one had been opened. It's as if customers come along, see that someone's touched the box already and have to open another one as if the first ones unclean.
I also found an A2 piece of pastel paper that had been rolled up and folded, and then whoever the culprit was had decided it wasn't what they were looking for after all and left it in an unsellable mess on top of the paper stand.
I know stuff gets broken, accidents happen, but deliberately damaging something you have no intention of buying, just because you think you have the right as a customer, is nothing short of vandalism. If you want to mess with that Fimo, you fucking buy it first. You’re not a retard, this isn’t play group, by the time you were seven you should have learnt breaking stuff that wasn’t yours was wrong.
And you’re not going to get a refund on something because you accidentally sat on it at home. You broke! We don’t pay!
If we could read customers minds, maybe this is what we'd see-"You work in shop. You stupid. You deserve bad. I broke something. I want money back. Customer always right. Big company listen to me. I warn them. I no shop here no more unless you give me money".....something like that.
So don’t be a dick, just ask or leave stuff the fuck alone, okay?!
Why do customers think it's okay to destroy stock and demand unreasonable compensation from stores because they think "these big corporate companies" can afford it?
I know they're trying to hurt the fat cats where it hurts-their wallet, but if the company I work for starts making a loss, it's going to start closing stores, and who's that going to affect? Us.
The big CEOs at the top will always try to make sure they're left with as much money in their pockets as possible, while the people at the bottom are left with no job, and before long, no money.
Why don't customers realise this?! By destroying stock they're only making more work and more losses for our store. Their argument would be "Well, that's what you get paid for", but how is that an excuse?
Yes, we have to tidy up after piggy customers all day so.....what? That's a reason to rip things apart, crumple things up and tread on them? You think you're doing us a favour by creating more work and keeping us in a job?
The only thing you're really doing is jeopardising my livelihood and making yourself look like a dick.
(Only stupider!)These thoughts were triggered yesterday when I went to tidy the cross-stitch/knitting area and found every single box of the beginner knitting sets had been ripped open. They're sealed in several places with tape and when they can't pick the tape off, the customers resort to ripping around them. What I don't get is why every single one had been opened. It's as if customers come along, see that someone's touched the box already and have to open another one as if the first ones unclean.
I also found an A2 piece of pastel paper that had been rolled up and folded, and then whoever the culprit was had decided it wasn't what they were looking for after all and left it in an unsellable mess on top of the paper stand.
I know stuff gets broken, accidents happen, but deliberately damaging something you have no intention of buying, just because you think you have the right as a customer, is nothing short of vandalism. If you want to mess with that Fimo, you fucking buy it first. You’re not a retard, this isn’t play group, by the time you were seven you should have learnt breaking stuff that wasn’t yours was wrong.
And you’re not going to get a refund on something because you accidentally sat on it at home. You broke! We don’t pay!
If we could read customers minds, maybe this is what we'd see-"You work in shop. You stupid. You deserve bad. I broke something. I want money back. Customer always right. Big company listen to me. I warn them. I no shop here no more unless you give me money".....something like that.
So don’t be a dick, just ask or leave stuff the fuck alone, okay?!
The Time Wasters
23/09/08 18:17
Some of the problems customers complain about are so ridiculous, I think they just invent them because they’re bored and want to talk to someone. Sometimes it’s not even a problem, they just ask to have a look at something and get me to un-box it, then say they’ll come back for it later but never show.
Maybe they’re just wasting time waiting for a bus; maybe they’re lonely.
One old woman came in on Sunday wanting to return a pack of scrapbook paper, claiming that one of the designs didn’t look how it should. Truthfully, she didn’t know how it was supposed to look but it wasn’t to her liking and she was damn well going to tell someone about it.
Yes, the paper did look like it had water damage (looked, not felt) but a lot of scrapbook papers are made to look distressed or aged, and the fact that every single sheet of that variety had exactly the same marks on it obviously didn’t tell her something.
So, I took her over to where these packs were on the shelf and showed her that all the paper looked like that. Funnily enough, that particular design was the one you can see through the back of the packaging. If you’ve never bought scrapbook paper, a pack will contain, say, 6 different designs with 5 sheets of each and one design will usually face outwards at the back, while a sheet at the front shows small examples of each. Well, as far as the brands we sell are concerned, they do, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence the manufacturers chose that particular design to face out. Obviously, this stupid woman hadn’t even bothered to turn the pack over before she bought it.
But as if that wasn’t enough, even after I’d shown her every pack and proved there was nothing wrong with her paper, she complained that the marks on her paper were much darker than in the other packs. I offered to exchange it for her but I’d need a receipt, which she’d conveniently thrown away. Even if she’d had a case, there’s nothing I can do without a receipt, as is the policy in most other shops.
Everyone knows that, right?
Well, not her. Not giving her a refund or exchange because she didn’t have a receipt was reason for her to say she would never be shopping here again. Yeah, like thats a bad thing.
Oh, and just one more thing....not only was she unhappy with the contents of her paper pack, but she was also extremely annoyed that the outside was covered in glitter, which inevitably ended up on her carpet. She’d picked the pack up off the display table during a card-making demo, where the demonstrator was using glitter and sprinkles and other pretty sparkly things, so I don’t really know what she expected but she insisted on telling me repeatedly anyway.
So to sum everything up, just how many stupid things did this dumb bitch do?
1) Not realising every sheet in the pack was the same
2) Not even looking at the pack properly before she bought it
3) Throwing away her receipt
4) Cutting off her nose to spite her face
5) Moaning about free glitter
God, it felt more than 5.
6) Being a miserable, pedantic bitch with nothing better to do than go in to shops and waste peoples time over a bit of fucking paper.
Fuck off you old bag!
Maybe they’re just wasting time waiting for a bus; maybe they’re lonely.
One old woman came in on Sunday wanting to return a pack of scrapbook paper, claiming that one of the designs didn’t look how it should. Truthfully, she didn’t know how it was supposed to look but it wasn’t to her liking and she was damn well going to tell someone about it.
Yes, the paper did look like it had water damage (looked, not felt) but a lot of scrapbook papers are made to look distressed or aged, and the fact that every single sheet of that variety had exactly the same marks on it obviously didn’t tell her something.
So, I took her over to where these packs were on the shelf and showed her that all the paper looked like that. Funnily enough, that particular design was the one you can see through the back of the packaging. If you’ve never bought scrapbook paper, a pack will contain, say, 6 different designs with 5 sheets of each and one design will usually face outwards at the back, while a sheet at the front shows small examples of each. Well, as far as the brands we sell are concerned, they do, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence the manufacturers chose that particular design to face out. Obviously, this stupid woman hadn’t even bothered to turn the pack over before she bought it.
But as if that wasn’t enough, even after I’d shown her every pack and proved there was nothing wrong with her paper, she complained that the marks on her paper were much darker than in the other packs. I offered to exchange it for her but I’d need a receipt, which she’d conveniently thrown away. Even if she’d had a case, there’s nothing I can do without a receipt, as is the policy in most other shops.
Everyone knows that, right?
Well, not her. Not giving her a refund or exchange because she didn’t have a receipt was reason for her to say she would never be shopping here again. Yeah, like thats a bad thing.
Oh, and just one more thing....not only was she unhappy with the contents of her paper pack, but she was also extremely annoyed that the outside was covered in glitter, which inevitably ended up on her carpet. She’d picked the pack up off the display table during a card-making demo, where the demonstrator was using glitter and sprinkles and other pretty sparkly things, so I don’t really know what she expected but she insisted on telling me repeatedly anyway.
So to sum everything up, just how many stupid things did this dumb bitch do?
1) Not realising every sheet in the pack was the same
2) Not even looking at the pack properly before she bought it
3) Throwing away her receipt
4) Cutting off her nose to spite her face
5) Moaning about free glitter
God, it felt more than 5.
6) Being a miserable, pedantic bitch with nothing better to do than go in to shops and waste peoples time over a bit of fucking paper.
Fuck off you old bag!
Sky is the Limit
18/09/08 14:36
After months of putting it off, my boyfriend finally signed up to Sky (the UK’s largest satellite TV provider).
You know how much I like bitching about dumb customers, but yet again I found myself on the receiving end of, for lack of a better word, the shittest customer service I’ve had to deal with since I left AOL, and I just have to say something about it. I was always having to ring AOL with some problem and they would usually, eventually solve it. As much as people hate call centers, I didn’t think it could get much worse than that.
I also had to ring FedEx once, when they lost over £500 worth of (imported) iPhones, but that was quite funny.
We had been tracking the package on the internet and watched it go all round the country before sitting for 2 days in Glasgow. I gave them a ring, said I wanted to check the delivery status when the girl I was speaking to said “Ah...yes...it’s in Glasgow”. I said “Yes. I know it’s in Glasgow. That’s why I’m ringing you. It’s been there since Tuesday”. I know not a lot of people like FedEx but they were very nice over the phone. They got a manager to speak to me and he even rang back to check our package had been delivered. A++!
But I’ve just been on the phone to Sky because the “engineer”, who came to install it this morning, has drilled a hole so big in the wall, we can see the side of next doors house through it, and that’s with the wire going through. Not only that, we’d also ordered multi-room but he only arrived with one box, so no multi-room until Monday when another engineer has to come and sort out this mess.
Those aren’t the only things wrong though. I could go on...no phone call beforehand (they’re supposed to let you know when they’re coming), he hasn’t connected the Sky box to the phone line (which is part of the contract), and he left a pile of boxes in the road outside the house.
Was Sky’s customer support line any help though? No! It’s just the luck of the draw who you get through to, and I did eventually get through to someone who apologised, but the rest seemed a pretty incompetent bunch. There’s also no complaints department over the phone so we have to right a letter or email, and it could take weeks to get a reply, and we already had to wait over 3 weeks to get it installed in the first place.
Grrr! It’s like everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong, and we are seriously regretting signing up in the first place. So, if you’re thinking of getting Sky, be warned! You could end up being a very unhappy customer.
Self-Service Checkouts
16/09/08 21:01
I really like the self-service checkouts that supermarkets have introduced, but they don’t half cause a lot of problems sometimes. I always use them when I go to Asda, I’d rather deal with a screen than a real person, but even they still need a person to come over and reassure them every so often. I can understand why in most cases, like when you cancel an item you need the attendant to authorise it just to make sure you’re not packing it anyway, but why do you need authorisation to not bag more than 3 items? Shops are encouraging you to recycle bags and yet I have to wait ages for an attendant to turn up to tell the machine it’s ok, I’m using my own bag. They’re just a bit oversensitive and freak out at the smallest thing. If I don’t pick my bags up quick enough it tells me to take them. If I don’t take my money in time it beeps at me. But again, I can understand why these little precautionary measures are put in place, and most of the fuck-ups are down to human error.
For instance, last Friday night I was next in line to use one of the self-checkouts while the guy in front was trying to pay for his items. He’d obviously not used them before and was looking around for where to pay. He then turns to me and asks where to put his card in.
Now, I know machines and technology scare some people but using one for the first time can’t be that daunting. Looking at the picture, I’ll give you three guess where you stick your card. Yeah, it’s the big grey thing next to the screen.
Without even saying anything I lean over and just point at the card reader and step back again. He sort of laughs, puts his card in and says I should be working there. What a compliment!
But that isn’t the end of it. He’s put his card in but hasn’t told the machine how he’s paying. It even says out loud “Insert cash or select payment type”. I give him a minute to try and figure it out for himself but I end up having to lean over again and press the screen for him, again not saying a word.
And after all that-his card gets rejected away. He just left the checkout, saying he was going to a real person, leaving me to wait for an attendant to come and cancel his item. After about 10 minutes I finally got to the checkout.
It was really busy at the time and all the machines seem to be going wrong. One was out of order completely. There was a chorus of “Please wait for assistance”, “Unexpected item in bagging area” and “Type in the items code or look up item”. I don’t get why it says the last one. You could be just scanning your items through and it’ll come out with it for no reason. And despite all the customer “traffic”, there was only one attendant for all the machines, which is about 8, I think. I know it’s not their fault, but I would have thought Asda could afford to have at least one more member of staff on the self-checkouts. I’m quite the impatient type.
A Case of the Back Seat Customer
09/09/08 15:41
Ever had a case where a couple comes in and one half asks you for help while the other half hangs around and contradicts your suggestions?
It happened to me last week when a woman asked me for help on finding “B pencils”. That’s all I had to go on-B pencils. So I picked out a set of 12 for her with pencils from 9B to HB, along with F and H. What more could you need, but she still wasn’t sure. Maybe she was looking for bee pencils but we don’t sell pencils with bees on.
Cue husband, who comes in and points to nearly every single other pack of pencils we sell saying stuff like “What about these?” or “This set has B pencils” and “You don’t need all those ones”, which I had to counter with “Yes, that set has B pencils in but also a lot of H pencils in, which you don’t need” or “Those are charcoal”.
This went on for a few minutes and in the end they chose the smallest, cheapest pack of pencils we sell.
Maybe it’s just me, because I’m young and blonde some customers like to lord over me and flex their egos because they don’t get the chance to do it anywhere else. In some cases I think it boils down to sexism, subconscious or not, because it’s usually the men that like to do the contradicting. Men don’t like to ask for help but don’t mind dishing it out where it’s not needed because they think I don’t have the capacity to tell B pencils from Parker pens. Sorry guys.
Anyway, it doesn’t happen to me that much. I just find it really annoying when I’m trying to serve someone, say I’m helping them with fabric paints, and their friend keeps interrupting, or worse, telling me what I already know. I’ll be showing them the Dylon paints, which are next to the Anita’s acrylic paints, and Friend will say “Here! These say you can use them on fabrics too!” and I just wish I could say “I know! I was getting to those! Butt out! You interfering, know-it-all waste of space!”.
It happened to me last week when a woman asked me for help on finding “B pencils”. That’s all I had to go on-B pencils. So I picked out a set of 12 for her with pencils from 9B to HB, along with F and H. What more could you need, but she still wasn’t sure. Maybe she was looking for bee pencils but we don’t sell pencils with bees on.
Cue husband, who comes in and points to nearly every single other pack of pencils we sell saying stuff like “What about these?” or “This set has B pencils” and “You don’t need all those ones”, which I had to counter with “Yes, that set has B pencils in but also a lot of H pencils in, which you don’t need” or “Those are charcoal”.
This went on for a few minutes and in the end they chose the smallest, cheapest pack of pencils we sell.
Maybe it’s just me, because I’m young and blonde some customers like to lord over me and flex their egos because they don’t get the chance to do it anywhere else. In some cases I think it boils down to sexism, subconscious or not, because it’s usually the men that like to do the contradicting. Men don’t like to ask for help but don’t mind dishing it out where it’s not needed because they think I don’t have the capacity to tell B pencils from Parker pens. Sorry guys.
Anyway, it doesn’t happen to me that much. I just find it really annoying when I’m trying to serve someone, say I’m helping them with fabric paints, and their friend keeps interrupting, or worse, telling me what I already know. I’ll be showing them the Dylon paints, which are next to the Anita’s acrylic paints, and Friend will say “Here! These say you can use them on fabrics too!” and I just wish I could say “I know! I was getting to those! Butt out! You interfering, know-it-all waste of space!”.
Consumer Rage Part 2
01/09/08 15:28
I started this blog so that I could rant and rave about customers to my hearts content, but more and more I’m finding myself equally frustrated with other retail workers.
I’ve touched on this before in “Consumer Rage” a while back.
Street sellers especially annoy me. I was stopped a few weeks ago by a woman who was offering £350 worth of hair treatments for £55. I turned it down but she would not take no for an answer. Pay by cheque, she said, put it on your credit card, borrow money from your parents, and then she expected me to write down my card details in the street, not to mention I didn’t have a clue who she was. When I still refused she started calling me crazy. I wish my mouth wouldn’t stop working when I get surprised. She got away unscathed. Then last week I noticed a group of girls trying to sell the same offer and I’m really glad they didn’t stop me. I know I’m supposed to love my fellow retail slave but I think I would have snapped. I guess that’s what’s meant by “going postal”.
I’ve also heard some very dodgy things about Phones 4 U. They’ve never been one to be trusted but they’ve been offering cash in hand to customers to get them to sign up to contracts. Someone was offered £50 out of the salespersons own pocket to get him to sign a contract on the spot (he declined), and a guy from work was persuaded to take out a whole new contract, despite already being on one and only going into the shop to try and get his old phone repaired, with £200 in cash to go and pay off his old contract with. Sound a bit weird to you? Reading on the internet it sounds like a lot of people have had problems with them. Not only does their customer service suck but they downright lie to get you to sign up. That must be what commission does to you. Why do companies still pay commission?
This really gets to me because when I go shopping I want to be treated the same as how I treat my customers (which is good, by the way) and I hate to see people getting paid the same as me and getting away with a lot more shit than I do. It’s also because salespeople and companies like the aforementioned are the reason why customers are so distrustful of the rest of us. Even if I just try and recommend a product that’s better suited to the customer than what they’re looking for, some will immediately dismiss it because they think I’m trying to get more money out of them. They’re even suspicious of why we don’t offer a full parking refund over 60p. One lady said to me “It’s very interesting that Asda refund the whole amount whereas you only refund up to 60p. Very interesting.” Jesus Christ woman! Asda is owned by one of the biggest, multinational companies in the world, that’s how they can afford to offer you a full refund. What is interesting is that you expect to come into town and not have to pay for your own parking!
Ahh...I’m back to customer hating again.
I’ve touched on this before in “Consumer Rage” a while back.
Street sellers especially annoy me. I was stopped a few weeks ago by a woman who was offering £350 worth of hair treatments for £55. I turned it down but she would not take no for an answer. Pay by cheque, she said, put it on your credit card, borrow money from your parents, and then she expected me to write down my card details in the street, not to mention I didn’t have a clue who she was. When I still refused she started calling me crazy. I wish my mouth wouldn’t stop working when I get surprised. She got away unscathed. Then last week I noticed a group of girls trying to sell the same offer and I’m really glad they didn’t stop me. I know I’m supposed to love my fellow retail slave but I think I would have snapped. I guess that’s what’s meant by “going postal”.
I’ve also heard some very dodgy things about Phones 4 U. They’ve never been one to be trusted but they’ve been offering cash in hand to customers to get them to sign up to contracts. Someone was offered £50 out of the salespersons own pocket to get him to sign a contract on the spot (he declined), and a guy from work was persuaded to take out a whole new contract, despite already being on one and only going into the shop to try and get his old phone repaired, with £200 in cash to go and pay off his old contract with. Sound a bit weird to you? Reading on the internet it sounds like a lot of people have had problems with them. Not only does their customer service suck but they downright lie to get you to sign up. That must be what commission does to you. Why do companies still pay commission?
This really gets to me because when I go shopping I want to be treated the same as how I treat my customers (which is good, by the way) and I hate to see people getting paid the same as me and getting away with a lot more shit than I do. It’s also because salespeople and companies like the aforementioned are the reason why customers are so distrustful of the rest of us. Even if I just try and recommend a product that’s better suited to the customer than what they’re looking for, some will immediately dismiss it because they think I’m trying to get more money out of them. They’re even suspicious of why we don’t offer a full parking refund over 60p. One lady said to me “It’s very interesting that Asda refund the whole amount whereas you only refund up to 60p. Very interesting.” Jesus Christ woman! Asda is owned by one of the biggest, multinational companies in the world, that’s how they can afford to offer you a full refund. What is interesting is that you expect to come into town and not have to pay for your own parking!
Ahh...I’m back to customer hating again.
Bob Ross
23/08/08 16:24
One issue of contention with me that does not involve customers is...Bob Ross. I know he was a lovely, good-natured guy but his merchandise sucks. It does now anyway. I'm sure it was great in the 80's.
What annoys me most about it is that I think it's a really good concept but it's presented all wrong. It's stagnant, still relying on the image of the amiable Bob Ross to sell the product 13 years on. I'm no marketing expert but I bet we'd shift a lot more of his stuff if it was given a redesign.
The painting method itself is a really good idea, claiming that anyone can learn to paint if they just follow a few simple instructions and with time and practice will be able to apply the technique to their own pictures, but anyone who calls themselves an artist after they can copy a few pictures out of a book with instructions is, quite frankly, a fraud. Great for beginners and just as a hobby, but I wouldn't call their carbon copy creations art.
There's a guy that visits our store every few months or so to do a Bob Ross demonstration. He studied in the US for a few years and is now a "Certified Bob Ross Instructor (CRI®, CRFI®)". He's very nice really but the title sounds a little pretentious to me. He travels around the country doing these demos and even holds his own classes, £40 per person per class, but instead of boosting sales for Bob Ross, he makes more business for himself. People are always more interested in buying his finished paintings rather than trying it for themselves.
It's obvious why it gets overlooked so much though. It's outdated, overpriced, and who wants to buy artist materials with some cheesy afro-haired guy plastered all over it. Even his paintbrushes have his face on! His instructional videos are just that - videos, and his books are still printed in black and white. Who buys VHS anymore and how can you expect to teach a painting technique with black and white pictures? The whole range looks like it fell out a time warp. For the amount of money they charge I'd have thought they'd at least fork out for some colour pictures and DVDs.
I know this is his legacy I'm slagging off but as I was never a follower of his original program, nor am I part of his aging fanbase, there is absolutely no appeal in his products at all. Literally the only people that buy it are old people, but it has a lot more potential. I think Bob Ross Inc. are just trying to remain loyal to him but I think after over a decade it could do with a restyle.
Then I might finally be able to get rid of the shit.
What annoys me most about it is that I think it's a really good concept but it's presented all wrong. It's stagnant, still relying on the image of the amiable Bob Ross to sell the product 13 years on. I'm no marketing expert but I bet we'd shift a lot more of his stuff if it was given a redesign.
The painting method itself is a really good idea, claiming that anyone can learn to paint if they just follow a few simple instructions and with time and practice will be able to apply the technique to their own pictures, but anyone who calls themselves an artist after they can copy a few pictures out of a book with instructions is, quite frankly, a fraud. Great for beginners and just as a hobby, but I wouldn't call their carbon copy creations art.
There's a guy that visits our store every few months or so to do a Bob Ross demonstration. He studied in the US for a few years and is now a "Certified Bob Ross Instructor (CRI®, CRFI®)". He's very nice really but the title sounds a little pretentious to me. He travels around the country doing these demos and even holds his own classes, £40 per person per class, but instead of boosting sales for Bob Ross, he makes more business for himself. People are always more interested in buying his finished paintings rather than trying it for themselves.
It's obvious why it gets overlooked so much though. It's outdated, overpriced, and who wants to buy artist materials with some cheesy afro-haired guy plastered all over it. Even his paintbrushes have his face on! His instructional videos are just that - videos, and his books are still printed in black and white. Who buys VHS anymore and how can you expect to teach a painting technique with black and white pictures? The whole range looks like it fell out a time warp. For the amount of money they charge I'd have thought they'd at least fork out for some colour pictures and DVDs.
I know this is his legacy I'm slagging off but as I was never a follower of his original program, nor am I part of his aging fanbase, there is absolutely no appeal in his products at all. Literally the only people that buy it are old people, but it has a lot more potential. I think Bob Ross Inc. are just trying to remain loyal to him but I think after over a decade it could do with a restyle.
Then I might finally be able to get rid of the shit.
RT Gets Philosophical.
17/07/08 23:18
I'v been thinking about this a lot: Why do people work in retail?
This is why I asked in the poll how long you'd been working in retail for, (not because I couldn't think of a better question, there was a reason, lol).
So, hands up who put 11-20 years! How have you put up with it for that long? Do you like your job? Maybe I only find it scary because you've been working in retail for as long as I'v been alive.
I'm not just trying to be nosey. I'll explain my situation:
I'v only ever seen working in retail as a temporary thing. Just a little weekend job I had through college and then I was all set to start a psychology degree. Then that summer I had something 2 foot short of an epiphany and I threw it all away. Hence, why I'm still in retail. My plan was to take a gap year (...or 2) and decide what I really wanted to do. I knew I'd be working some shitty job, but that was okay, because it would only make me want to go back into education more. At the time I'd just had enough of school and college. Over 40 exams in 3 years. Best years of your life? Yeah right! But I knew it could be worse, and I had to find out the hard way.
Anyway, those gap years are finally up and I'm making plans to start uni next year. There's a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I'm not usually right about most things, but this has worked out to the letter, and has been the most enormous learning curve. I sound naive, which is probably true, but even if I hadn't been planning to go to uni, then the "capitalistic Vietnam that is the holiday season" would have driven me to it anyway.
Just the thought of having to work a few more years in retail sends shivers down my spine. Of course, people have to do it otherwise we wouldn't have shops, but a lot of those people are capable of and deserve better, and yet there's some people in top positions who don't deserve jack.
I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I think that little part of me that applied to do psychology is still around, trying to figure out the psyche of retail workers. I know where I'm at - I hate it, all of it, and it's tainting the way I see the world.
I'm just curious to know why you're still there, and how you deal with it.
This is why I asked in the poll how long you'd been working in retail for, (not because I couldn't think of a better question, there was a reason, lol).
So, hands up who put 11-20 years! How have you put up with it for that long? Do you like your job? Maybe I only find it scary because you've been working in retail for as long as I'v been alive.
I'm not just trying to be nosey. I'll explain my situation:
I'v only ever seen working in retail as a temporary thing. Just a little weekend job I had through college and then I was all set to start a psychology degree. Then that summer I had something 2 foot short of an epiphany and I threw it all away. Hence, why I'm still in retail. My plan was to take a gap year (...or 2) and decide what I really wanted to do. I knew I'd be working some shitty job, but that was okay, because it would only make me want to go back into education more. At the time I'd just had enough of school and college. Over 40 exams in 3 years. Best years of your life? Yeah right! But I knew it could be worse, and I had to find out the hard way.
Anyway, those gap years are finally up and I'm making plans to start uni next year. There's a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I'm not usually right about most things, but this has worked out to the letter, and has been the most enormous learning curve. I sound naive, which is probably true, but even if I hadn't been planning to go to uni, then the "capitalistic Vietnam that is the holiday season" would have driven me to it anyway.
Just the thought of having to work a few more years in retail sends shivers down my spine. Of course, people have to do it otherwise we wouldn't have shops, but a lot of those people are capable of and deserve better, and yet there's some people in top positions who don't deserve jack.
I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I think that little part of me that applied to do psychology is still around, trying to figure out the psyche of retail workers. I know where I'm at - I hate it, all of it, and it's tainting the way I see the world.
I'm just curious to know why you're still there, and how you deal with it.
GameStop
07/07/08 11:10
Some poor GameStop employee has taken it upon himself to defend the company’s policies because he is so tired of all the GameStop bashing that goes on. You can read the whole thing here. I guess all the know-it-all abusive customers and criticising newsblogs are starting to get too much for one retail slave.
The first thing he talks about is “gutted” games. People are making a big deal of this? It’s common practice in the UK....and it makes sense. If you were to put an unopened £50 game on the shelf someone would steal it, no-matter how many security tags you put on it. Isn’t that obvious, customers? At least you can check the disk of gutted games. Just because a game is sealed, it’s no guarantee it’s going to work any better. And be thankful those gutted disks get put in plastic/paper sleaves. We don’t even do that.
Another thing is the reserves. I never gave a crap about how much I sold or how many reserves I made (which was probably none) because I was only a temp, but I know we had soooo many problems with customers wanting to reserve a Wii. I worked at **** video game store around the time the Wii was released in December 2006 and the UK (well, everywhere) had a pretty bad time of it trying to get hold of consoles. Even those who managed to reserve one weren’t happy they had to wait for it. One day there was a power outage affecting our store and a guy approaches us and kicks off because he can’t get his Wii. Helloooooo! We can’t even get in the fucking store, let alone get your Wii! Why are people so fucking stupid? They see the shop with the shutters still down at 12pm and us standing outside in the freezing cold, but the customer is always right and the customer demands they have their games right now! Sorry, I failed at Hogwarts, which is a good job for you because I would really like to transfigure you into the pile of shit that you really are!
He brings up a lot of other good points as well, like asking for ID and....trade-ins. Why do people get pissy about this? Which other stores will take in your 2 year old, manky game or console? And if you turn up your nose at a pre-owned game that you consider to be in poor condition, that’s not the fault of the employees, but due to the previous owner not looking after it properly. Blame your fellow customers.
Something I need to chuck in though is that you pay nearly half the price for games (not to mention nearly everything else) in the US compared to the UK. Grand Theft Auto IV in the US - $59.99. In the UK - £49.99 ($98.78). Rock Band in the US - $169.99. In the UK - £129.99 ($256.84). You’re getting a steal as it is, quit being a bitch about it.
Even though I only worked at a video game store for a few months, I learned that buying games and consoles can induce a state of anger in the most placid of people. If you’re not happy with the policies, take it to the guys at the top. Don’t take your frustration out on the retail slaves because they can’t change anything. You think they get paid minimum wage for drafting company policy and procedure?
One comment says:
Sorry- this just basically says one thing to me:
"The customer should conform to our practices" instead of the other way around.
Um....yeah, what’s your point? You expect us to change policy for each customer’s individual preferences? I think you need to go pinch yourself, or worse.
Perfect example of a Bad Customer
01/07/08 13:47
The story is: Jim Dougan wanted to install an Airport card into his wife’s “MacBook” but didn’t have the right screwdriver. So instead of doing his research, he decided to take his anger out on the Genius Bar employees, making a right fool of himself in the process.
Why didn’t he just search Google? Who knows. Maybe he acted out of desperation trying to find new content for another comic, and a poor one at that.
Not only was he in the wrong for being such an idiot and shouting at retail employees, not doing his rearch in the first place and then making a comic to bring attention to the fact that he’s an idiot, but I don’t think he even knows what he’s talking about.
First thing: his wife’s “MacBook” is titanium. MacBooks are plastic!! He means a PowerBook G4 (seeing as he’s talking about something that happened in 2003-4).
Second thing: he moans he has to order his “exoctic” screwdriver from Taiwan. Half the fucking components in Apple’s portable products are assembled in Taiwan! His laptop is Taiwanese!
Third thing: if he’d done his research, he would have found that all he needed was a Torx Wrench #8, available at most autoparts and DIY stores, and then he needn’t have ordered one from Taiwan.
Forth thing: he complains about the Genius’ not lending him the “exotic” screwdriver he needed, so that he could make a hash of his laptop on their counter. They would have lost their jobs if they’d done so! Just pay the fucking $30, man!
And finally: he describes himself as “not one of those Type-A assholes”. He is SO wrong. People with Type A personality are described as being impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation. BINGO!
Even in the comments he’s quick to critisize anyone who tries to correct him. I can’t get over how ignorant and arrogant this man is.
Although as more people rip him to shreds, the more he realises he hasn’t got a leg to stand on.
“Congratulations on knowing your way around Radio Shack and Sears Hardware, I’m sure that impresses the ladies”
“Uhhh.. cause real studs post comics about their computer rants on the internet?”
LOL. What an asshole. A Type-A asshole.
How I Lost My S#?! at the Apple Store @ The Chemistry Set [via Gizmodo]
Bank Notes
09/06/08 00:55
I only had to be on the till for 5 minutes the other day to remember how much I dislike bank notes. From what I’ve read, most people hate it when customers decide to pay in change and stand there for ages counting out all their coins but I don’t mind it, even if there’s a long queue. It just annoys me when someone buys something for 99p and pays with a £20 note. I know sometimes you can’t help it but I’ve had customers pay for their shopping with a note, decide they want some sweets, then instead of paying with the change I just gave them they pull out another note. I don’t have an infinite amount of change! It’s only the people that do take the time to count out their shrapnel that stops me having to run to customer service for change every 10 minutes.
Yesterday I ran out of £5 and £10 notes and someone tried to pay with a £20. I didn’t even have enough change to give them! So I had to wait till the cashier next to me opened his till so we could swap some notes and luckily no one got irate.
Partly the reason change runs out so fast is because of the shortage of £5 notes; if there were more of them I wouldn’t have to keep giving people £9 in coins and they wouldn’t have to keep paying with £10 notes. No excuse for twenties though, no excuse.
Yesterday I ran out of £5 and £10 notes and someone tried to pay with a £20. I didn’t even have enough change to give them! So I had to wait till the cashier next to me opened his till so we could swap some notes and luckily no one got irate.
Partly the reason change runs out so fast is because of the shortage of £5 notes; if there were more of them I wouldn’t have to keep giving people £9 in coins and they wouldn’t have to keep paying with £10 notes. No excuse for twenties though, no excuse.
QVC
09/06/08 00:54
I was watching QVC last night and it made me think of 2 things: 1) I think I’d still rather deal with real customers than have to present for an hour with Dawn Bibby, and 2) I found the most bizarre thing in a QVC store in Florida.
Dawn Bibby presents the craft hour. She tries to sell the most horrible stuff and she is a total bitch. She is so patronising and impatient with the other presenter I feel sorry for him having to put up with her. He can be a bit giddy but it is at 1am so you can’t blame him.
Anyway, this thing I found. I can’t believe something like this even exists:
WTF?!! It’s a movie….for your cat….on VHS! ZOMG! It’s funny and disturbing at the same time. The testimonial on the back says: “My cat Harley has practically become a Mewvie fanatic! He crouches in front of the screen and goes into his “primal hunting mode”. It’s hilarious to watch his intensity as he watches and chatters at the sparrows.” -Brooke.
Well, Brooke, I don’t know whether to tell you you should be sectioned for buying your cat a movie or that you’ve wasted your money because Planets Funniest Animals can have just the same effect.
Can you imagine having to sell that crap? It’s $18.52 as well, reduced! And who thought up the idea of making a movie for cats? “Hmm, all my cat does is sleep. It’s unhealthy, it needs some stimulation. Maybe it would like something to watch. After all, cats are people too y’know.”
And whichever buyer for QVC thought it was a good idea to buy that shit is really in the wrong job. Kinda like the buyers for the company I work for.
Somebody tell me this is a joke…
Dawn Bibby presents the craft hour. She tries to sell the most horrible stuff and she is a total bitch. She is so patronising and impatient with the other presenter I feel sorry for him having to put up with her. He can be a bit giddy but it is at 1am so you can’t blame him.
Anyway, this thing I found. I can’t believe something like this even exists:
WTF?!! It’s a movie….for your cat….on VHS! ZOMG! It’s funny and disturbing at the same time. The testimonial on the back says: “My cat Harley has practically become a Mewvie fanatic! He crouches in front of the screen and goes into his “primal hunting mode”. It’s hilarious to watch his intensity as he watches and chatters at the sparrows.” -Brooke.
Well, Brooke, I don’t know whether to tell you you should be sectioned for buying your cat a movie or that you’ve wasted your money because Planets Funniest Animals can have just the same effect.
Can you imagine having to sell that crap? It’s $18.52 as well, reduced! And who thought up the idea of making a movie for cats? “Hmm, all my cat does is sleep. It’s unhealthy, it needs some stimulation. Maybe it would like something to watch. After all, cats are people too y’know.”
And whichever buyer for QVC thought it was a good idea to buy that shit is really in the wrong job. Kinda like the buyers for the company I work for.
Somebody tell me this is a joke…
Consumer Rage
06/06/08 15:08
I think customers behaviour can be likened to road rage. Being in a shop has the same effect on some people as being in a car and can cause them to stop thinking rationally and forget that they’re actually talking to other human beings. Nothing else matters but themselves and their money and they will curse, shout and threaten until they get what they want. I’m going to call it consumer rage.
The worst thing is though, I could become a perpetrator of it myself if pushed. Usually if service is a bit slow and I can see the cashier is struggling, I’l say to them it’s fine, don’t worry about it, but I have got a bit angry sometimes when there’s absolutely no excuse for crappy service. I was in Matalan a few months ago and it took 15 minutes for me to get served with 2 tills open and only 3 people in front of me. There was absolutely no reason for it except that the woman on one till was so ancient she should have retired 30 years ago (ok, not her fault but she shouldn’t be working at all) and if the guy on the other till walked any slower he’d be going backwards. Currys is also really bad for crappy customer service. I’d get written up if I did some of the stuff that’s happened to me there.
But to be honest, if you can get away with it, why not. I don’t blame them for trying to do the least amount of work possible. The pay only covers getting out of bed, anything else you do is extra. Minimum wage = minimum effort.
The worst thing is though, I could become a perpetrator of it myself if pushed. Usually if service is a bit slow and I can see the cashier is struggling, I’l say to them it’s fine, don’t worry about it, but I have got a bit angry sometimes when there’s absolutely no excuse for crappy service. I was in Matalan a few months ago and it took 15 minutes for me to get served with 2 tills open and only 3 people in front of me. There was absolutely no reason for it except that the woman on one till was so ancient she should have retired 30 years ago (ok, not her fault but she shouldn’t be working at all) and if the guy on the other till walked any slower he’d be going backwards. Currys is also really bad for crappy customer service. I’d get written up if I did some of the stuff that’s happened to me there.
But to be honest, if you can get away with it, why not. I don’t blame them for trying to do the least amount of work possible. The pay only covers getting out of bed, anything else you do is extra. Minimum wage = minimum effort.
Tidyness Theory
04/06/08 00:30
I’v noticed that the tidier the shelves are in the first place, the longer they stay tidy for. Sounds obvious but I only realised after I tidied an isle to perfection and when I came back at the end of the day there wasn’t much I needed to do, the customers had actually kept it in pretty good order. I think it’s because it’s more noticeable if they put something back out of place, whereas if an isle is already a bit messed up then they’ll put stuff back any old way because the item next to it is a bit skewif anyway. Then by the end of the day it’s just completely out of control. That’s my theory anyway.
What really annoys me is when people dump stuff in the wrong place right in front of me! I might work in a shop which automatically means people think I have an IQ of 2, but I’m not blind as well. Even when I’m trying to help them and they don’t like what I show them, they’ll just throw it down again in completely the wrong place.
But what I hate most of all is people opening packaging, especially if it involves ripping, tearing and damaging beyond repair. Today I found 2 of the same item with their boxes ripped apart. 2! As if they didn’t believe what was in the first box and it was some kind of lucky dip. Then if they decide they want to buy one, they don’t want the one they’ve just opened so take another one. Possibly the worst case I’v found though was a printer ink refill kit that had been opened and the ink had spilt onto other stock. It ended up all over my hands and wouldn’t come off so I looked like I had some weird skin disease for 2 days. And I know who did it- some wretched kid who I’d seen hanging about earlier. I wish I’d caught him. It’s great telling kids off without their parents around, they poo themselves.
By the sounds of it, our store is one of the worst in the chain for people messing things up and destroying stuff. Just the kind of people our town attracts are like the bottom of the barrel, the scum of the surrounding towns. Dolites with no teeth and 8 kids, eugh!
What really annoys me is when people dump stuff in the wrong place right in front of me! I might work in a shop which automatically means people think I have an IQ of 2, but I’m not blind as well. Even when I’m trying to help them and they don’t like what I show them, they’ll just throw it down again in completely the wrong place.
But what I hate most of all is people opening packaging, especially if it involves ripping, tearing and damaging beyond repair. Today I found 2 of the same item with their boxes ripped apart. 2! As if they didn’t believe what was in the first box and it was some kind of lucky dip. Then if they decide they want to buy one, they don’t want the one they’ve just opened so take another one. Possibly the worst case I’v found though was a printer ink refill kit that had been opened and the ink had spilt onto other stock. It ended up all over my hands and wouldn’t come off so I looked like I had some weird skin disease for 2 days. And I know who did it- some wretched kid who I’d seen hanging about earlier. I wish I’d caught him. It’s great telling kids off without their parents around, they poo themselves.
By the sounds of it, our store is one of the worst in the chain for people messing things up and destroying stuff. Just the kind of people our town attracts are like the bottom of the barrel, the scum of the surrounding towns. Dolites with no teeth and 8 kids, eugh!
How to write a letter of complaint in style
04/06/08 00:25
This is a letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. I’m sure most people have probably seen it already. It’s PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
So the general consensus is that’s it’s a pretty funny letter, but I’m only laughing at her. I have never had such problems while surfing the crimson waves, but if that’s how bad it can get then eureka!, maybe I should just offer every bad-tempered woman who comes in the shop some Ibuprofen, preferably 9 or more. Not only does she make herself look a fool, but she tries to drag the rest of the female of the species down with her. I especially like the last paragraph: “Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits“. I would pay $8 to get rid of this customer, and I’m sure Mr Thatcher cares just as much about her friggin’ $8. She sounds like a woman on the edge, and if she transforms into an inbred hillbilly with knife skills every month then she certainly has my sympathy. I just wish she’d chosen a more diplomatic way to go about expressing her views on having a happy period, even if it was just for her own sake.
The customer is not always right, Wendi. Period!
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
So the general consensus is that’s it’s a pretty funny letter, but I’m only laughing at her. I have never had such problems while surfing the crimson waves, but if that’s how bad it can get then eureka!, maybe I should just offer every bad-tempered woman who comes in the shop some Ibuprofen, preferably 9 or more. Not only does she make herself look a fool, but she tries to drag the rest of the female of the species down with her. I especially like the last paragraph: “Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits“. I would pay $8 to get rid of this customer, and I’m sure Mr Thatcher cares just as much about her friggin’ $8. She sounds like a woman on the edge, and if she transforms into an inbred hillbilly with knife skills every month then she certainly has my sympathy. I just wish she’d chosen a more diplomatic way to go about expressing her views on having a happy period, even if it was just for her own sake.
The customer is not always right, Wendi. Period!
To all our customers
03/06/08 22:44
Dear Customers,
Please refrain from shopping. Decide not to assault the high street with your presence. Any necessary purchases can be made online, from the comfort of your living room, bedroom, or even garden.
However, if you find leaving the house unavoidable, please remember your manners, and please forget your kids. Expect to pay for parking or, if travelling by bus, expect to share a seat with a nearly dead.
The best time to shop is on weekdays, between 1pm-3pm.
Weekends invariably mean long queues, slow service and higher stress levels.
Most people are of the assumption that they don’t know everything, no matter what line of work they’re in. This is also true of sales assistants. Although most sales assistants have a good knowledge of their present stock and can advise on the location, price and use of most items, they will undoubtly not be able to explain the reason why the item you have just come out especially to buy has just sold out.
This is not the first or last time you will be disappointed in life and no one is to blame, especially the sales assistant. This is why you were asked to remember your manners.
To err is human, but to completely screw things up takes a computer. It is not the assistants fault if the till won’t accept your card, or if it freezes halfway through a transaction. Losing your patience will solve nothing and you may find that service slows down even more. This is probably down to the assistant and is not entirely unintentional, so it is in your best interests to remain calm, kind and collected.
If you can’t bear to leave your children at home, always keep them under control, whether outside, browsing or waiting to pay. No one should have to listen to their whining or have to watch you be a bad parent. Do not let them handle stock that you have no intention of buying and don’t give them anything they might be tempted to throw anywhere.
Food and drink is a no no. Shelves do not make handy rubbish holders so hang on to your litter until you reach the nearest bin.
Never underestimate the sales assistant. Not all of them are high school drop-outs, but if they were that stupid and you were that clever, you wouldn’t need to ask for help when you can’t see for looking. Always be polite or you may not find what you’re looking for.
Yours faithfully,
Anonymous Sales Assistant
Please refrain from shopping. Decide not to assault the high street with your presence. Any necessary purchases can be made online, from the comfort of your living room, bedroom, or even garden.
However, if you find leaving the house unavoidable, please remember your manners, and please forget your kids. Expect to pay for parking or, if travelling by bus, expect to share a seat with a nearly dead.
The best time to shop is on weekdays, between 1pm-3pm.
Weekends invariably mean long queues, slow service and higher stress levels.
Most people are of the assumption that they don’t know everything, no matter what line of work they’re in. This is also true of sales assistants. Although most sales assistants have a good knowledge of their present stock and can advise on the location, price and use of most items, they will undoubtly not be able to explain the reason why the item you have just come out especially to buy has just sold out.
This is not the first or last time you will be disappointed in life and no one is to blame, especially the sales assistant. This is why you were asked to remember your manners.
To err is human, but to completely screw things up takes a computer. It is not the assistants fault if the till won’t accept your card, or if it freezes halfway through a transaction. Losing your patience will solve nothing and you may find that service slows down even more. This is probably down to the assistant and is not entirely unintentional, so it is in your best interests to remain calm, kind and collected.
If you can’t bear to leave your children at home, always keep them under control, whether outside, browsing or waiting to pay. No one should have to listen to their whining or have to watch you be a bad parent. Do not let them handle stock that you have no intention of buying and don’t give them anything they might be tempted to throw anywhere.
Food and drink is a no no. Shelves do not make handy rubbish holders so hang on to your litter until you reach the nearest bin.
Never underestimate the sales assistant. Not all of them are high school drop-outs, but if they were that stupid and you were that clever, you wouldn’t need to ask for help when you can’t see for looking. Always be polite or you may not find what you’re looking for.
Yours faithfully,
Anonymous Sales Assistant
"Don't Get Done, Get Dom!"
03/06/08 22:31
This is a TV program on the BBC where one man takes it upon himself to sort out your “bureaucratic nightmare”. Although he’s doing a great service by standing up for the little guy against big corporate companies, he’s also turned some big faux pas’ into acceptable shopping etiquette. Haggling for instance. People seem to think it’s ok to haggle in high street stores. Haggling should be reserved for car boot sales and market stalls only, or pricey independent stores if you’re really desperate. But with retail chains, the price is set at head office, and especially with electrical goods the profit margin is at it’s absolute minimum as it is.
There’s a whole page in the Daily Mirror dedicated to learning how to haggle, with a Dominic’s Haggling Tactics section (and the creepiest picture of him I’v ever seen).
“DOMINIC’S HAGGLING TACTICS
Dominic Littlewood is a consumer expert and star of BBC1’s Don’t Get Done, Get Dom
(1) Go to the shop or showroom when it’s quiet - never haggle when there’s a queue.
(2) Find out the recommended retail price (RRP) of the item. Otherwise, the sales assistant will bump up the price when you start haggling then knock it down - you’ll think you’ve got a bargain when all you’ve paid is the RRP.
(3) Don’t be confrontational or rude - be jovial and build rapport.
(4) Then say: “I like this TV but I don’t like the price.” If they can’t give you a discount ask who can. Ask them to get this person for you. Use this person’s name when you chat to build rapport.
(5) Open the haggling with a low price. Never say: “What’s your best price?” because you will stop the process in its tracks.
(6) After opening with your first offer it’s important to stay silent. Wait for them to speak next. If the reply is: “We don’t do discount,” keep chatting. You might have to ask up to three times before you get some money off.
(7) Read their signals and meet them halfway. If they really can’t give you a discount then try to get something thrown in (for example, a free juicer to go with your washing machine). If they say no then shop somewhere else, but keep practising your haggling!”
Ok, first of all - People working in shops do not like it when you use their name all the way through a sale. You don’t know that person and as soon as you use their name, they know you’re trying to get something for nothing. It’s ok to say “Thanks ______” at the end, but to use their name from the start in an effort to be friendly probably isn’t going to work in your favor. We know you’re only pretending and that hurts our feelings. No, it really pisses us off.
2) The best price is the price on the shelf.
3) We really can’t give you something for free. There’s no right way to go about it. If we just pick something off the shelf and give it to you, it’ll mess up our stock figures. And if we put it through the till as £0.00, then head office is going to see that and think “what the hell are they playing at?”. Don’t ask.
4) Why are you shopping on the high street if you want a good deal?! Ever heard of the internet?
Haggling will work in some shops, but not in most. Obviously, if you don’t ask you don’t get, but usually it’s a case of asking and not getting. And if at first you don’t succeed….Give up!
(Psst, it only works for him because he’s on TV.)
You can find the full article here: How to haggle like a pro.
There’s a whole page in the Daily Mirror dedicated to learning how to haggle, with a Dominic’s Haggling Tactics section (and the creepiest picture of him I’v ever seen).
“DOMINIC’S HAGGLING TACTICS
Dominic Littlewood is a consumer expert and star of BBC1’s Don’t Get Done, Get Dom
(1) Go to the shop or showroom when it’s quiet - never haggle when there’s a queue.
(2) Find out the recommended retail price (RRP) of the item. Otherwise, the sales assistant will bump up the price when you start haggling then knock it down - you’ll think you’ve got a bargain when all you’ve paid is the RRP.
(3) Don’t be confrontational or rude - be jovial and build rapport.
(4) Then say: “I like this TV but I don’t like the price.” If they can’t give you a discount ask who can. Ask them to get this person for you. Use this person’s name when you chat to build rapport.
(5) Open the haggling with a low price. Never say: “What’s your best price?” because you will stop the process in its tracks.
(6) After opening with your first offer it’s important to stay silent. Wait for them to speak next. If the reply is: “We don’t do discount,” keep chatting. You might have to ask up to three times before you get some money off.
(7) Read their signals and meet them halfway. If they really can’t give you a discount then try to get something thrown in (for example, a free juicer to go with your washing machine). If they say no then shop somewhere else, but keep practising your haggling!”
Ok, first of all - People working in shops do not like it when you use their name all the way through a sale. You don’t know that person and as soon as you use their name, they know you’re trying to get something for nothing. It’s ok to say “Thanks ______” at the end, but to use their name from the start in an effort to be friendly probably isn’t going to work in your favor. We know you’re only pretending and that hurts our feelings. No, it really pisses us off.
2) The best price is the price on the shelf.
3) We really can’t give you something for free. There’s no right way to go about it. If we just pick something off the shelf and give it to you, it’ll mess up our stock figures. And if we put it through the till as £0.00, then head office is going to see that and think “what the hell are they playing at?”. Don’t ask.
4) Why are you shopping on the high street if you want a good deal?! Ever heard of the internet?
Haggling will work in some shops, but not in most. Obviously, if you don’t ask you don’t get, but usually it’s a case of asking and not getting. And if at first you don’t succeed….Give up!
(Psst, it only works for him because he’s on TV.)
You can find the full article here: How to haggle like a pro.
A Rant.
03/06/08 22:29
I think, by the sounds of things, that no matter who you work for in retail, all customers are the same. Dumb!
And we are all customers. There’s just something about walking into a shop that makes us all go wacko.
Maybe it’s the door heaters. Have them on too high and it blows your IQ to the floor. Maybe the air-con chills your soul. Maybe it’s the uniform. Uniforms turn people into anonymous robots that you have no problem yelling at.
But whatever it is happens without you even knowing. You can go from rational thinker to commercial abuser the second you walk through that door. Hell, you might even forget how to read.
For instance: “Please present your car parking ticket at the start of transaction” actually means you have to hand over your parking ticket before the cashier starts scanning your items. BEFORE. Being handed your receipt is a sign your transaction has ended. That would be AFTER transaction. No tickets!
Customers also get lazy. Assistants are there to assist. “General assistant” does not mean “Personal slave”, and if there’s one thing above all you could do to compensate for any previous indolence, it would be to pack your own bags. It would save everyone time and and make you less useless. Or if you really want to shine, always carry a reusable shopping bag so you can do your own packing and save the planet at the same time. Consider it your good deed for the day.
Another way to save time is to always have your money or plastic ready. Women especially like to wait until everythings scanned before digging around in their handbag for their purse, and then like to hold up the line even more while they put their change or card back into their purse of infinite compartments and return it to the fathoms of their bag. Just take your shit and go.
It has also occurred to me that it may not be the store environment that temporarily changes your personality, but rather that shops are just where the stupid congregate (and that means staff as well as customers). Now, I don’t know what a name badge and store uniform means to other people but “Do you work here?” is not the first thing I think of. I usually take it for granted that most people wouldn’t wear a store uniform out of choice, but that doesn’t seem so obvious to some customers.
As for the staff, not all of them dropped out of college so don’t tar them all with the same brush, but they can’t be expected to know everything about every single product. Someone who works in a pet store will not have owned every single pet or used every single product. You have to do your own research. If you’re not sure what to buy - don’t buy it, and don’t get pissy!
However, with some staff, they really are working in a shop because they’re thick as pig shit. Others are just plain disturbed. If you think it’s bad talking to them for 2 seconds, try working with them.
Whatever you do once you walk in a shop though, remember not to get abusive. You will only be embarrassing yourself. The cashier or assistant is not trying to make things difficult for you. They can’t change the rules for you just because you’re in a hurry or if you’re in a bad mood because you put orange juice on your cornflakes this morning, and if you say the word “fuck”, forget any cooperation whatsoever. You wouldn’t tolerate it so why should they?
But just think about it, what is so stressful about shopping? If you have to go out in a hurry to get something for your kids project and can’t find it, then you only have you or your kid to blame, and if something doesn’t work once you get it home that’s not the cashiers fault and its usually easily solved by exchanging it for a bright, shiny, working new one. Sorted!
And finally, from my experience, it seems quite a few customers have problems leaving the shop as well. Asking me “How do I get out?” might help, but you could always try the way you came in. That usually works for me.
And we are all customers. There’s just something about walking into a shop that makes us all go wacko.
Maybe it’s the door heaters. Have them on too high and it blows your IQ to the floor. Maybe the air-con chills your soul. Maybe it’s the uniform. Uniforms turn people into anonymous robots that you have no problem yelling at.
But whatever it is happens without you even knowing. You can go from rational thinker to commercial abuser the second you walk through that door. Hell, you might even forget how to read.
For instance: “Please present your car parking ticket at the start of transaction” actually means you have to hand over your parking ticket before the cashier starts scanning your items. BEFORE. Being handed your receipt is a sign your transaction has ended. That would be AFTER transaction. No tickets!
Customers also get lazy. Assistants are there to assist. “General assistant” does not mean “Personal slave”, and if there’s one thing above all you could do to compensate for any previous indolence, it would be to pack your own bags. It would save everyone time and and make you less useless. Or if you really want to shine, always carry a reusable shopping bag so you can do your own packing and save the planet at the same time. Consider it your good deed for the day.
Another way to save time is to always have your money or plastic ready. Women especially like to wait until everythings scanned before digging around in their handbag for their purse, and then like to hold up the line even more while they put their change or card back into their purse of infinite compartments and return it to the fathoms of their bag. Just take your shit and go.
It has also occurred to me that it may not be the store environment that temporarily changes your personality, but rather that shops are just where the stupid congregate (and that means staff as well as customers). Now, I don’t know what a name badge and store uniform means to other people but “Do you work here?” is not the first thing I think of. I usually take it for granted that most people wouldn’t wear a store uniform out of choice, but that doesn’t seem so obvious to some customers.
As for the staff, not all of them dropped out of college so don’t tar them all with the same brush, but they can’t be expected to know everything about every single product. Someone who works in a pet store will not have owned every single pet or used every single product. You have to do your own research. If you’re not sure what to buy - don’t buy it, and don’t get pissy!
However, with some staff, they really are working in a shop because they’re thick as pig shit. Others are just plain disturbed. If you think it’s bad talking to them for 2 seconds, try working with them.
Whatever you do once you walk in a shop though, remember not to get abusive. You will only be embarrassing yourself. The cashier or assistant is not trying to make things difficult for you. They can’t change the rules for you just because you’re in a hurry or if you’re in a bad mood because you put orange juice on your cornflakes this morning, and if you say the word “fuck”, forget any cooperation whatsoever. You wouldn’t tolerate it so why should they?
But just think about it, what is so stressful about shopping? If you have to go out in a hurry to get something for your kids project and can’t find it, then you only have you or your kid to blame, and if something doesn’t work once you get it home that’s not the cashiers fault and its usually easily solved by exchanging it for a bright, shiny, working new one. Sorted!
And finally, from my experience, it seems quite a few customers have problems leaving the shop as well. Asking me “How do I get out?” might help, but you could always try the way you came in. That usually works for me.
