Aug 2008
Book Update
28/08/08 20:20 Filed in: Stories
I didn’t buy anything from that Amazon seller in the end, not because I was pissed at them, but because I found one of the books I wanted in a store today. It was one of the PostSecret books by Frank Warren and, had I bought it off the internet, I would never have found the gems hidden inside this copy, which is now sitting on my desk.
This has nothing to do with retail anymore but I thought I’d tell you anyway, partly because I felt so weirded out and surprised, and even privelidged, that I felt obliged to buy the book (even though it was almost twice as expensive as on Amazon) and partly to let you know that I’ve added PostSecrets to my blogroll.
But back to the mystery. Hidden inside the book were two PostSecrets that someone, obviously being familiar with the website, had hidden there for someone else to find, instead of posting them off to Frank. Maybe someone just put them there for a laugh but one of them seems a little too sincere. I haven’t decided whether to send them to Frank or not yet. I have emailed him but I didn’t even tell him what they said so they’re still a very well kept secret. Well, almost. Best kept secrets aren’t found lying around in a book shop, are they.
I didn’t take them without giving something back though. I wrote my own little secret on whatever I had to hand (half of a train route map) and left it in one of the other PostSecret books on the shelf. One day someone with find it and think WTF?, just like I did.
One of the secrets from the book that is relevant though is this one, written on half of a torn up Starbucks cup: “I give decaf to customers who are RUDE to me!”. I don’t drink coffee so I’ll assume that depriving a coffee drinker of caffeine is one of the worst things a barista could do, lol.
This has nothing to do with retail anymore but I thought I’d tell you anyway, partly because I felt so weirded out and surprised, and even privelidged, that I felt obliged to buy the book (even though it was almost twice as expensive as on Amazon) and partly to let you know that I’ve added PostSecrets to my blogroll.
But back to the mystery. Hidden inside the book were two PostSecrets that someone, obviously being familiar with the website, had hidden there for someone else to find, instead of posting them off to Frank. Maybe someone just put them there for a laugh but one of them seems a little too sincere. I haven’t decided whether to send them to Frank or not yet. I have emailed him but I didn’t even tell him what they said so they’re still a very well kept secret. Well, almost. Best kept secrets aren’t found lying around in a book shop, are they.
I didn’t take them without giving something back though. I wrote my own little secret on whatever I had to hand (half of a train route map) and left it in one of the other PostSecret books on the shelf. One day someone with find it and think WTF?, just like I did.
One of the secrets from the book that is relevant though is this one, written on half of a torn up Starbucks cup: “I give decaf to customers who are RUDE to me!”. I don’t drink coffee so I’ll assume that depriving a coffee drinker of caffeine is one of the worst things a barista could do, lol.
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RT is STILL a Cry Baby Customer
27/08/08 23:40 Filed in: Micro
I got a reply from the book seller. They’re not allowed to have customers on the warehouse site because their insurance doesn’t cover it, and I finally got a phone number from them. Not that it’s much use because I’m not going to be ringing them.
I understand about their insurance and everything but I’m still pissed. It’s literally just round the corner from my house. And like Nick said in the comments-he took his business elsewhere because they make it so difficult to get in contact with them. Lost business, lost profit. There’s a lot of conflicting information about them on google.
I’ll still end up buying from them because there’s not much chance of it getting lost in the 800m it has to travel to my house, but knowing Royal Mail it will still take 3 weeks.
Hmmm....very, very annoying.
I understand about their insurance and everything but I’m still pissed. It’s literally just round the corner from my house. And like Nick said in the comments-he took his business elsewhere because they make it so difficult to get in contact with them. Lost business, lost profit. There’s a lot of conflicting information about them on google.
I’ll still end up buying from them because there’s not much chance of it getting lost in the 800m it has to travel to my house, but knowing Royal Mail it will still take 3 weeks.
Hmmm....very, very annoying.
RT Turns Into Cry Baby Customer
26/08/08 14:15 Filed in: Random
I’m looking on Amazon for some books and I looked at the sellers in the “new & used” section and found one of the sellers actually operates from my town. So I try and look up a phone number but they’re listed at at least 3 addresses so I have to email them, and getting a reply will take time.
All I want to do is just go round and get a book because there’s no point paying postage when it’s only travelling about half a mile. Why have they made it so difficult to contact them? All I ask is a phone number. Every business has a phone number.
Now who’s the impatient customer? I can feel a little tantrum bubbling. I’m tempted just to go to Waterstones but the seller sounds nice so I want to buy from them.
It sucks! I want my books!
All I want to do is just go round and get a book because there’s no point paying postage when it’s only travelling about half a mile. Why have they made it so difficult to contact them? All I ask is a phone number. Every business has a phone number.
Now who’s the impatient customer? I can feel a little tantrum bubbling. I’m tempted just to go to Waterstones but the seller sounds nice so I want to buy from them.
It sucks! I want my books!
Colour Me Stupid
25/08/08 14:59 Filed in: Micro
Poo Story
23/08/08 19:30 Filed in: Stories
Here’s a real life, bona fide poo story from my previously mentioned friend who went to work for anonymous big-ass company. Retail Heaven just got shittier:
It happened on Wednesday morning when the cleaner started freaking out after she’d gone to clean the toilets. She’d started emptying the bin, something you have to do with your hands as there’s no bag, when she realised just what she’d picked up. Shit! That’s not an exclamation, someone had actually taken a dump in the bin! I only hope she was wearing gloves at the time.
The design of the bathroom incorporates the bin into the wall directly under the paper towl dispenser so it’s only meant for the paper towls, hense why you can’t get a bin bag inside it and why it’s assumed safe to empty with your hands. It also means that the culprit would have had a pretty hard time trying to get their ass in there.
But what makes it even harder to accept is that there are no customer toilets in the store, only staff toilets.
The perpetrator is still among them.
It happened on Wednesday morning when the cleaner started freaking out after she’d gone to clean the toilets. She’d started emptying the bin, something you have to do with your hands as there’s no bag, when she realised just what she’d picked up. Shit! That’s not an exclamation, someone had actually taken a dump in the bin! I only hope she was wearing gloves at the time.
The design of the bathroom incorporates the bin into the wall directly under the paper towl dispenser so it’s only meant for the paper towls, hense why you can’t get a bin bag inside it and why it’s assumed safe to empty with your hands. It also means that the culprit would have had a pretty hard time trying to get their ass in there.
But what makes it even harder to accept is that there are no customer toilets in the store, only staff toilets.
The perpetrator is still among them.
Bob Ross
23/08/08 16:24 Filed in: Rants
One issue of contention with me that does not involve customers is...Bob Ross. I know he was a lovely, good-natured guy but his merchandise sucks. It does now anyway. I'm sure it was great in the 80's.
What annoys me most about it is that I think it's a really good concept but it's presented all wrong. It's stagnant, still relying on the image of the amiable Bob Ross to sell the product 13 years on. I'm no marketing expert but I bet we'd shift a lot more of his stuff if it was given a redesign.
The painting method itself is a really good idea, claiming that anyone can learn to paint if they just follow a few simple instructions and with time and practice will be able to apply the technique to their own pictures, but anyone who calls themselves an artist after they can copy a few pictures out of a book with instructions is, quite frankly, a fraud. Great for beginners and just as a hobby, but I wouldn't call their carbon copy creations art.
There's a guy that visits our store every few months or so to do a Bob Ross demonstration. He studied in the US for a few years and is now a "Certified Bob Ross Instructor (CRI®, CRFI®)". He's very nice really but the title sounds a little pretentious to me. He travels around the country doing these demos and even holds his own classes, £40 per person per class, but instead of boosting sales for Bob Ross, he makes more business for himself. People are always more interested in buying his finished paintings rather than trying it for themselves.
It's obvious why it gets overlooked so much though. It's outdated, overpriced, and who wants to buy artist materials with some cheesy afro-haired guy plastered all over it. Even his paintbrushes have his face on! His instructional videos are just that - videos, and his books are still printed in black and white. Who buys VHS anymore and how can you expect to teach a painting technique with black and white pictures? The whole range looks like it fell out a time warp. For the amount of money they charge I'd have thought they'd at least fork out for some colour pictures and DVDs.
I know this is his legacy I'm slagging off but as I was never a follower of his original program, nor am I part of his aging fanbase, there is absolutely no appeal in his products at all. Literally the only people that buy it are old people, but it has a lot more potential. I think Bob Ross Inc. are just trying to remain loyal to him but I think after over a decade it could do with a restyle.
Then I might finally be able to get rid of the shit.
What annoys me most about it is that I think it's a really good concept but it's presented all wrong. It's stagnant, still relying on the image of the amiable Bob Ross to sell the product 13 years on. I'm no marketing expert but I bet we'd shift a lot more of his stuff if it was given a redesign.
The painting method itself is a really good idea, claiming that anyone can learn to paint if they just follow a few simple instructions and with time and practice will be able to apply the technique to their own pictures, but anyone who calls themselves an artist after they can copy a few pictures out of a book with instructions is, quite frankly, a fraud. Great for beginners and just as a hobby, but I wouldn't call their carbon copy creations art.
There's a guy that visits our store every few months or so to do a Bob Ross demonstration. He studied in the US for a few years and is now a "Certified Bob Ross Instructor (CRI®, CRFI®)". He's very nice really but the title sounds a little pretentious to me. He travels around the country doing these demos and even holds his own classes, £40 per person per class, but instead of boosting sales for Bob Ross, he makes more business for himself. People are always more interested in buying his finished paintings rather than trying it for themselves.
It's obvious why it gets overlooked so much though. It's outdated, overpriced, and who wants to buy artist materials with some cheesy afro-haired guy plastered all over it. Even his paintbrushes have his face on! His instructional videos are just that - videos, and his books are still printed in black and white. Who buys VHS anymore and how can you expect to teach a painting technique with black and white pictures? The whole range looks like it fell out a time warp. For the amount of money they charge I'd have thought they'd at least fork out for some colour pictures and DVDs.
I know this is his legacy I'm slagging off but as I was never a follower of his original program, nor am I part of his aging fanbase, there is absolutely no appeal in his products at all. Literally the only people that buy it are old people, but it has a lot more potential. I think Bob Ross Inc. are just trying to remain loyal to him but I think after over a decade it could do with a restyle.
Then I might finally be able to get rid of the shit.
0% Sale
23/08/08 15:56
see more pwn and owned pictures
That’s my kinda sale! I think they might be a reader of RHU as well, lol.
Brit Kwik Fit advert
22/08/08 10:37
Update
21/08/08 14:13 Filed in: Stories
Sorry I haven’t been posting much. I had promised to bombard you with posts at the end of the 2 week break, but during that time I couldn’t just write a post on a whim so I forgot all the little shit I moan about and just remembered the good stuff. It was pretty good stuff though.
Plus, I’ve had 3 days off in a row this week so I haven’t had much to write about. I almost forget retail, lol. Bliss. Well, bittersweet. I spent most of Monday afternoon either sedated or recovering after a trip to the dentist. I wasn’t having teeth pulled or anything, I’m just a big wuss. So Monday was a bit of a blur, I wouldn’t have made much sense even if I had tried to write something.
Anyway, I was back in work on Wednesday and another mystery was revealed. For the past few months I’d occasionally seen a guy walking around upstairs and he’d even come into the staff cantine to ask which manager was on that night, but no matter who I asked, no one could tell me who he was. He’s pretty old....and very ugly. Imagine a surfer dude at 50 - too much sun, cigs, and still dying his hair blonde - that’s what he looks like to me. Well, I saw him again yesterday and it turns out he’s the “blind guy”. He’s not actually blind, he just comes in to sort out the blinds, as in Venetian and vertical. We think he fancies the A&C Supervisor. The only reason I found out who he was was because he came over to give her a packet of cigarettes after she’d bought him some jelly beans earlier. How romantic.
That’s really the most interesting thing that’s happened. It’s been very uneventful in the store recently. The most irate customer I’ve seen was a guy who started kicking off because he’d driven to the store twice to pick something up and was moaning about the amount of petrol he’d used. It’s not like he couldn’t have rung ahead to check if we even had it in stock first, so obviously it’s all our fault he wasted petrol. I don’t know if we gave in to him or not.
I also had to deal with a guy who claimed he’d bought a fish tank from us about a year ago and the flouresent bulb had gone and he couldn’t find a replacement anywhere. He said we still sold the product so I think he was hinting at me to give him a bulb from another tank. Before I could laugh in his face I passed him over to a duty manager so I don’t know what happened with him either.
There’s some anti-climaxes for ya.
Plus, I’ve had 3 days off in a row this week so I haven’t had much to write about. I almost forget retail, lol. Bliss. Well, bittersweet. I spent most of Monday afternoon either sedated or recovering after a trip to the dentist. I wasn’t having teeth pulled or anything, I’m just a big wuss. So Monday was a bit of a blur, I wouldn’t have made much sense even if I had tried to write something.
Anyway, I was back in work on Wednesday and another mystery was revealed. For the past few months I’d occasionally seen a guy walking around upstairs and he’d even come into the staff cantine to ask which manager was on that night, but no matter who I asked, no one could tell me who he was. He’s pretty old....and very ugly. Imagine a surfer dude at 50 - too much sun, cigs, and still dying his hair blonde - that’s what he looks like to me. Well, I saw him again yesterday and it turns out he’s the “blind guy”. He’s not actually blind, he just comes in to sort out the blinds, as in Venetian and vertical. We think he fancies the A&C Supervisor. The only reason I found out who he was was because he came over to give her a packet of cigarettes after she’d bought him some jelly beans earlier. How romantic.
That’s really the most interesting thing that’s happened. It’s been very uneventful in the store recently. The most irate customer I’ve seen was a guy who started kicking off because he’d driven to the store twice to pick something up and was moaning about the amount of petrol he’d used. It’s not like he couldn’t have rung ahead to check if we even had it in stock first, so obviously it’s all our fault he wasted petrol. I don’t know if we gave in to him or not.
I also had to deal with a guy who claimed he’d bought a fish tank from us about a year ago and the flouresent bulb had gone and he couldn’t find a replacement anywhere. He said we still sold the product so I think he was hinting at me to give him a bulb from another tank. Before I could laugh in his face I passed him over to a duty manager so I don’t know what happened with him either.
There’s some anti-climaxes for ya.
RT Temporarily Turns Into Retail Droid.
16/08/08 22:07 Filed in: Stories
This morning the duty manager came into work still drunk. No surprise, it happenes every weekend.
He was going round asking people if they would iron his shirt for him. I said no, but half an hour later he was still asking so I took pity on him and ironed his shirt. Nothing says “slave” more than working in a shop and ironing your manager's shirt.
I feel, not downtrodden, but like I shouldn't have done it. But the fact is I offered to and I really didn't mind, and now I don't owe him that drink. He appreciated it anyway...or maybe that was just last nights alcohol.
But really it was just an opportunity to get out of doing the same monotonous jobs I do every day I'm in work. I just swapped one chore for another, only this one I hadn't done 50 million times before and it was a bit of a relief.
That really sums up retail. I chose ironing over people. Analyze that!
He was going round asking people if they would iron his shirt for him. I said no, but half an hour later he was still asking so I took pity on him and ironed his shirt. Nothing says “slave” more than working in a shop and ironing your manager's shirt.
I feel, not downtrodden, but like I shouldn't have done it. But the fact is I offered to and I really didn't mind, and now I don't owe him that drink. He appreciated it anyway...or maybe that was just last nights alcohol.
But really it was just an opportunity to get out of doing the same monotonous jobs I do every day I'm in work. I just swapped one chore for another, only this one I hadn't done 50 million times before and it was a bit of a relief.
That really sums up retail. I chose ironing over people. Analyze that!
RT Gets Philosophical Again
13/08/08 23:00 Filed in: Random
Is there such thing as a retail heaven? As in the opposite of our day-to-day living hell.
I thought I’d found it, not personally, but from what I’d heard from someone (who shall remain nameless) who went to work for some big ass, successful company (which shall also remain nameless) I thought they’d pretty much hit the jackpot.
Promises of rotas 3 weeks in advance, competitive pay and great perks, fantastic company ethos, and so far it hasn’t gone too wrong.
My employee handbook is full of emtpy promises - intolerance of harrassment and bullying, discussions and advanced notice of changing working hours, and so far they havent fulfilled one.
But no matter how high this company is on the “best retail employer” list, a shop is still a shop. You could have the best management in the world and customers are still going to treat you like crap.
So is it worth getting trodden on by the public for an extra £2 an hour more than your counterparts? Or is it as soul-destroying as the rest of our retail jobs? They certainly work in a better atmosphere, safe in the knowledge that the company isn’t going to go under, and most people get along great which obviously makes a massive difference to job satisfaction.
Maybe it’s just another one of those things that can neither be proved nor disproved. What constitutes as retail hell most people would probably agree on, but one person’s retail heaven will differ from the next. Generally speaking, retail heaven must have: nice customers, nice management, and pay above minimum wage; but my personal retail heaven would either be: a nice little craft shop where I could spend most of the day doing my own little crafty projects while serving the odd customer; or a book shop that only sold books that I’d read or was planning to read so that customers would only ask me for books that I knew, and then we could talk about it in depth when they came back in. Obviously, neither exist so there is no retail heaven for me *sniff*. I don’t ask for much, lol.
Seriously though, I would enjoy my job a lot more if the company just kept it’s word and treated people fairly. Angry customers wouldn’t be such a problem then.
So, let me know if you’ve found your retail heaven, or know that it exists. I’m dying to know (no pun intended, lol).
I thought I’d found it, not personally, but from what I’d heard from someone (who shall remain nameless) who went to work for some big ass, successful company (which shall also remain nameless) I thought they’d pretty much hit the jackpot.
Promises of rotas 3 weeks in advance, competitive pay and great perks, fantastic company ethos, and so far it hasn’t gone too wrong.
My employee handbook is full of emtpy promises - intolerance of harrassment and bullying, discussions and advanced notice of changing working hours, and so far they havent fulfilled one.
But no matter how high this company is on the “best retail employer” list, a shop is still a shop. You could have the best management in the world and customers are still going to treat you like crap.
So is it worth getting trodden on by the public for an extra £2 an hour more than your counterparts? Or is it as soul-destroying as the rest of our retail jobs? They certainly work in a better atmosphere, safe in the knowledge that the company isn’t going to go under, and most people get along great which obviously makes a massive difference to job satisfaction.
Maybe it’s just another one of those things that can neither be proved nor disproved. What constitutes as retail hell most people would probably agree on, but one person’s retail heaven will differ from the next. Generally speaking, retail heaven must have: nice customers, nice management, and pay above minimum wage; but my personal retail heaven would either be: a nice little craft shop where I could spend most of the day doing my own little crafty projects while serving the odd customer; or a book shop that only sold books that I’d read or was planning to read so that customers would only ask me for books that I knew, and then we could talk about it in depth when they came back in. Obviously, neither exist so there is no retail heaven for me *sniff*. I don’t ask for much, lol.
Seriously though, I would enjoy my job a lot more if the company just kept it’s word and treated people fairly. Angry customers wouldn’t be such a problem then.
So, let me know if you’ve found your retail heaven, or know that it exists. I’m dying to know (no pun intended, lol).
Treat customers like drugs - just say NO!
09/08/08 11:51 Filed in: Stories
Last night a guy came in under strict orders from his wife to buy a particular coffee table. While the manager was looking in the back to see if we had any in stock, he asked me if he could take the one on display. I told him no, because we only sell the display one once we know we’re not getting any more in stock and that even if we didn’t have any in the back at the moment we could easily order one in for him. But then he says the only reason he wants the display one is so that he doesn’t have to build it himself when he gets home.
Lazy. Fuck.
The manager also made the mistake of telling him that we take 20% off the display models, this being the same manager who gave in to that stupid woman with the dog bed, so I know damn well why he really wants the one on display.
And in the end he got it! *anger*
That manager just gives into everyone. People like him are the reason why customers think they can get away with anything.
Now someone will have to rebuild another coffee table, and we’ll lose another 20% off it.
Nice going!
Lazy. Fuck.
The manager also made the mistake of telling him that we take 20% off the display models, this being the same manager who gave in to that stupid woman with the dog bed, so I know damn well why he really wants the one on display.
And in the end he got it! *anger*
That manager just gives into everyone. People like him are the reason why customers think they can get away with anything.
Now someone will have to rebuild another coffee table, and we’ll lose another 20% off it.
Nice going!
Neither the time nor the place
09/08/08 10:17 Filed in: Stories
Saturday 2nd August
Today I had not so much a sleazy ass customer but, well, I don’t know what to call him. He’d come in to ask if we had a certain size canvas and then he started telling me all about his art. I’ve seen him a few times before, he used to come in and have a chat with the former department manager, who was also an artist of sorts.
He’s originally from Africa and mustn’t be a bad artist as he’s had a few exhibitions and the odd elite customer, but he’s currently studying at uni here - a non-art related subject, which you could tell was depriving him of time to indulge in his artistic expression. He seemed to think that because I worked on Arts & Crafts, and because I was showing an interest, he’d found a kindred spirit.
I hinted that I really should get back to work so he had to take his chance.
“Do you mind if I, how do you say....ask you out?”
(I though okay, this is totally innocent but I’ll feign ignorance anyway.)
“Um...sure.”
“On a date?”
(Crap!)
“Not so much on a date. As friends.”
“Oh...okay. Can I give you my number?”
“Okay.”
(He writes down his number but I do not reciprocate.)
“So next time I’m in ******** I’ll let you know. But right now I’d better get back to work.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Phew! Poor guy. I bet the eavesdropping customers had a right laugh. As nice as the guy is to talk to, he has to go down on the list of customers to avoid now.
Today I had not so much a sleazy ass customer but, well, I don’t know what to call him. He’d come in to ask if we had a certain size canvas and then he started telling me all about his art. I’ve seen him a few times before, he used to come in and have a chat with the former department manager, who was also an artist of sorts.
He’s originally from Africa and mustn’t be a bad artist as he’s had a few exhibitions and the odd elite customer, but he’s currently studying at uni here - a non-art related subject, which you could tell was depriving him of time to indulge in his artistic expression. He seemed to think that because I worked on Arts & Crafts, and because I was showing an interest, he’d found a kindred spirit.
I hinted that I really should get back to work so he had to take his chance.
“Do you mind if I, how do you say....ask you out?”
(I though okay, this is totally innocent but I’ll feign ignorance anyway.)
“Um...sure.”
“On a date?”
(Crap!)
“Not so much on a date. As friends.”
“Oh...okay. Can I give you my number?”
“Okay.”
(He writes down his number but I do not reciprocate.)
“So next time I’m in ******** I’ll let you know. But right now I’d better get back to work.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Phew! Poor guy. I bet the eavesdropping customers had a right laugh. As nice as the guy is to talk to, he has to go down on the list of customers to avoid now.
Yeah? Show me the money!
09/08/08 00:06 Filed in: Stories
Last Friday night I sat off and made glow stick jewelry with another member of staff, and wore a flat cap for some time, as well as opening a poker game, and a bingo roller, and a make your own farm animals kit...ok, we did a lot of stuff we shouldn’t have been doing.
But while we were pretending to work we were approached by a foreign guy who wanted to know the specifications of some wind up head torch, something we knew nothing about. He wanted to open it but it was in heat sealed plastic packaging so we said he couldn’t if he wasn’t going to buy it. My colleague also said to him that if we let every customer open anything they wanted, we wouldn’t make any money, lose our jobs and end up poor, to which he replied: “Yeah, show me a poor person in England.”
I nearly wet myself. He was cool though, he wasn’t uptight or anything, and he didn’t buy the torch. I’m still laughing now.
But while we were pretending to work we were approached by a foreign guy who wanted to know the specifications of some wind up head torch, something we knew nothing about. He wanted to open it but it was in heat sealed plastic packaging so we said he couldn’t if he wasn’t going to buy it. My colleague also said to him that if we let every customer open anything they wanted, we wouldn’t make any money, lose our jobs and end up poor, to which he replied: “Yeah, show me a poor person in England.”
I nearly wet myself. He was cool though, he wasn’t uptight or anything, and he didn’t buy the torch. I’m still laughing now.
Variety Is The Spice Of Life
07/08/08 18:58
I find it hard enough to keep track of the stuff we sell, but it really annoys me when I go into Morrisons and there’s only 3 types of Pop Tarts available. There’s just not enough variety in this country! While my boyfriend was on holiday, he was on special orders from me to bring back a months supply of Reece’s mini cups and Reece’s Puffs cereal because I just can’t get hold of them over here.
How is this related to my blog? It isn’t really, but as a consumer I could say that I wish we had more choice, expecially when it comes to food, but as a retail slave I know giving customers more choice can only make things more complicated.
So while all the kids are starving in Africa, all I was worried about was getting my Reece’s, and I wasn’t disappointed. He also brought back a load of other sweets from some international food market, like “Peach Gummies” from Japan, with an added extra 30% of something that we can’t read. Why does no one in this country import crazy food?!
Something I did find quite funny though was this:
Maybe somebody moved the sign, but are Flakes really a novelty? What do you put on your ice cream if you can’t get hold of Flakes? And Crunchies? And Yorkies, even though “they’re not for girls”? You have them, right? Wikipedia tells me Kit-Kats are available all over the place so I’m relieved there. Some things I know are under a different guise, like Galaxy chocolate is called Dove. Dove to me says “deodorant”. And Walkers crisps are called Lay’s.
Anyway, I’m going too far off track. Basically, I’m an angry consumer and I want to be able to get hold of Reece’s Puffs cereal anywhere, anytime. Make it happen, Asda!
How is this related to my blog? It isn’t really, but as a consumer I could say that I wish we had more choice, expecially when it comes to food, but as a retail slave I know giving customers more choice can only make things more complicated.
So while all the kids are starving in Africa, all I was worried about was getting my Reece’s, and I wasn’t disappointed. He also brought back a load of other sweets from some international food market, like “Peach Gummies” from Japan, with an added extra 30% of something that we can’t read. Why does no one in this country import crazy food?!
Something I did find quite funny though was this:
Maybe somebody moved the sign, but are Flakes really a novelty? What do you put on your ice cream if you can’t get hold of Flakes? And Crunchies? And Yorkies, even though “they’re not for girls”? You have them, right? Wikipedia tells me Kit-Kats are available all over the place so I’m relieved there. Some things I know are under a different guise, like Galaxy chocolate is called Dove. Dove to me says “deodorant”. And Walkers crisps are called Lay’s.
Anyway, I’m going too far off track. Basically, I’m an angry consumer and I want to be able to get hold of Reece’s Puffs cereal anywhere, anytime. Make it happen, Asda!
Pet hate + phone phobia ≠ success
07/08/08 13:41 Filed in: Stories
Sunday 27th July
Something that I really hate doing in work is using the phone. Fortunately, I don’t have to do it that often, but occasionally I’ll get called over to customer service to answer a customers query over the phone and I really, really hate it.
There was also the time when I asked for the store manager to be called to customer service over the tannoy but he rang down on the phone instead. Whoever was on CS just handed me the phone with no explanation and I didn’t expect it to be the manager so I just said hello, and all the manager said was hello, so we went back and forth like that for a while. I really didn’t recognise his voice, which is fucking stupid because he’s Canadian, and eventually he says “Yeah! Whats up?!”, and I’m like..shit! Lol. Rarely have I ever been more embarrassed. I blame my phobia of the work phone for temporarily losing my wits and making a fool of myself. I’d also like to blame the person on CS for not telling me who was on the other end, and because I don’t like him.
But what I hate most is when customers ask me to ring another store to see if they have a certain item in stock. It’s so lazy! I have to stand there while they glare at me because I’m on hold, like because I work there everything should happen faster and it’s my fault when it doesn’t.
This happened quite recently when a couple came in looking for these certain stickers and asked me to ring such and such a store. I said sure, but I could also give them the number so they could do it themselves in their own time, and had they tried the website. This was 2pm on a Sunday and I had just been about to go for my (late) lunch, but they said no, they wanted me to ring the store.
While I was on hold the guy asked me to ask them for directions to the store for him, so I asked if they had the internet, which they did, so I said I’d give them the store’s postcode and they could look it up themselves on google maps when they got home. They didn’t argue with that.
It took another 15 minutes to finally find out that the other store didn’t have any stickers either. The guy then asked for all the details about the store and item that I’d jotted down just as a quick reference, including the SKU number, like he had a clue what that was. I gave it to him anyway, explaining that only the first 4 numbers were relevant because the last 2 referred to the same stickers but in a different colour. I knew he wasn’t listening.
It really pissed me off. I’d asked him if he was able to pick the stickers up that day if they had any, and he said no, so I don’t understand what the rush was. They could have just rung the store when they got home, and seeing as our stores are open till 8pm they could have rung after 6 when calls are cheaper, if not free. Why do customers expect more if they get a staff member to do stuff for them? It’s actually likely to make things worse, because as soon as the other store heard I wasn’t the customer there was no pressure on them to please.
We’re retail slaves, not miracle workers.
Something that I really hate doing in work is using the phone. Fortunately, I don’t have to do it that often, but occasionally I’ll get called over to customer service to answer a customers query over the phone and I really, really hate it.
There was also the time when I asked for the store manager to be called to customer service over the tannoy but he rang down on the phone instead. Whoever was on CS just handed me the phone with no explanation and I didn’t expect it to be the manager so I just said hello, and all the manager said was hello, so we went back and forth like that for a while. I really didn’t recognise his voice, which is fucking stupid because he’s Canadian, and eventually he says “Yeah! Whats up?!”, and I’m like..shit! Lol. Rarely have I ever been more embarrassed. I blame my phobia of the work phone for temporarily losing my wits and making a fool of myself. I’d also like to blame the person on CS for not telling me who was on the other end, and because I don’t like him.
But what I hate most is when customers ask me to ring another store to see if they have a certain item in stock. It’s so lazy! I have to stand there while they glare at me because I’m on hold, like because I work there everything should happen faster and it’s my fault when it doesn’t.
This happened quite recently when a couple came in looking for these certain stickers and asked me to ring such and such a store. I said sure, but I could also give them the number so they could do it themselves in their own time, and had they tried the website. This was 2pm on a Sunday and I had just been about to go for my (late) lunch, but they said no, they wanted me to ring the store.
While I was on hold the guy asked me to ask them for directions to the store for him, so I asked if they had the internet, which they did, so I said I’d give them the store’s postcode and they could look it up themselves on google maps when they got home. They didn’t argue with that.
It took another 15 minutes to finally find out that the other store didn’t have any stickers either. The guy then asked for all the details about the store and item that I’d jotted down just as a quick reference, including the SKU number, like he had a clue what that was. I gave it to him anyway, explaining that only the first 4 numbers were relevant because the last 2 referred to the same stickers but in a different colour. I knew he wasn’t listening.
It really pissed me off. I’d asked him if he was able to pick the stickers up that day if they had any, and he said no, so I don’t understand what the rush was. They could have just rung the store when they got home, and seeing as our stores are open till 8pm they could have rung after 6 when calls are cheaper, if not free. Why do customers expect more if they get a staff member to do stuff for them? It’s actually likely to make things worse, because as soon as the other store heard I wasn’t the customer there was no pressure on them to please.
We’re retail slaves, not miracle workers.
Retail Slave Malfunctions
07/08/08 12:08 Filed in: Stories
Helloooo! I’m a day late, sorry, but I have got some really good stories. I’ll post them in the order that they happened rather than saving the best till last, and I think this one is probably the best.
Friday 25th July
I think today was the day for customers threatening us with trading standards.
First off, one woman complained that a dog bed was wrongly priced. She’d assumed the size that was advertised was the largest one, then kicked off when she got to the till and found that it was more expensive. It clearly said on the price sign that the 15L dog bed was £14.99, or something like that, and it says on the tag attached to each dog bed the size of the bed, she just hadn’t bothered to check. Lazy, stupid and....wrong! Infuriatingly, the manager let her have it for the lower price.
But later on that day a guy asked me about the prices of the canvases. At first I was a bit confused too, but it’s easy enough to understand once you read the prices carefully.
Customer: “Excuse me, am I right in thinking this canvas is £2.99?”
(I go to check the price on the till)
Me: “No, that’s £7.99.”
Customer: “Well it says here it’s £2.99.”
Me: “That’s the deep edge canvases.”
(That’s where I got a bit confused. 30x24 staple back canvas - £7.99, 30x24 deep edge canvas - £2.99. Then I read the measurements, the staple backs were priced in inches, and the deep edge in cm.)
Customer: “But look! It says here ’30x24 - £2.99’.”
Me: “Yes, but that’s in cm so it’s for a much smaller canvas. The canvas you want is 30x24 inches.”
Customer: “Well, can I have it for £2.99?”
Me: “No, because even if the sizes had been the same, you were still looking at the prices for the wrong type of canvas.”
(I stand there while he thinks about this.)
Me: “Is everything alright now?”
Customer: “Well no, because I’m a bit disappointed this canvas isn’t £2.99. I’m not trying to be funny or anything, I work in a shop too, y’know. Can you go and speak to your manager and see what he can do?”
What a dickhead! What makes it so much worse is that he also works in a shop. And why mention it? Any empathy I might have had evaporated 10 minutes ago. He wants money off because he was “diappointed” with the price? Big fucking deal.
I go and speak to the manager, wary that he’d given in to a similar customer earlier that day, but I didn’t care what he’d said, that guy was not getting money off that canvas. Luckily the manager thought along exactly the same lines as I did - “That guys just taking the piss!”. So I go down and give this retail slave gone bad the news, which he takes very badly....
Customer: “Well, I want it in writing, please. I want a copy of these prices and I’m going to trading standards on Monday! And can you tell the manager that as well.”
I go and scan both the deep edge and staple back prices and patronise him by asking if he’d like me to highlight the ones in question (“No! I know which ones there are, thankyou!”). I don’t know what he was playing at. Obviously he was desperately trying to get money off this canvas, knowing full well he was in the wrong, and thought he knew all the tricks in the book because he worked in a shop. Must have slipped his mind that I do too. *Sigh*, what a dumbass! I also think he was trying to get a rise out of me by being so difficult so that he could use poor customer service against me as well because he was a bit put out that I was being so nice about everything.
He bought the canvas anyway at £7.99, and we never heard anything from trading standards.
Me: 10092 - Dumbass customers: 0
Friday 25th July
I think today was the day for customers threatening us with trading standards.
First off, one woman complained that a dog bed was wrongly priced. She’d assumed the size that was advertised was the largest one, then kicked off when she got to the till and found that it was more expensive. It clearly said on the price sign that the 15L dog bed was £14.99, or something like that, and it says on the tag attached to each dog bed the size of the bed, she just hadn’t bothered to check. Lazy, stupid and....wrong! Infuriatingly, the manager let her have it for the lower price.
But later on that day a guy asked me about the prices of the canvases. At first I was a bit confused too, but it’s easy enough to understand once you read the prices carefully.
Customer: “Excuse me, am I right in thinking this canvas is £2.99?”
(I go to check the price on the till)
Me: “No, that’s £7.99.”
Customer: “Well it says here it’s £2.99.”
Me: “That’s the deep edge canvases.”
(That’s where I got a bit confused. 30x24 staple back canvas - £7.99, 30x24 deep edge canvas - £2.99. Then I read the measurements, the staple backs were priced in inches, and the deep edge in cm.)
Customer: “But look! It says here ’30x24 - £2.99’.”
Me: “Yes, but that’s in cm so it’s for a much smaller canvas. The canvas you want is 30x24 inches.”
Customer: “Well, can I have it for £2.99?”
Me: “No, because even if the sizes had been the same, you were still looking at the prices for the wrong type of canvas.”
(I stand there while he thinks about this.)
Me: “Is everything alright now?”
Customer: “Well no, because I’m a bit disappointed this canvas isn’t £2.99. I’m not trying to be funny or anything, I work in a shop too, y’know. Can you go and speak to your manager and see what he can do?”
What a dickhead! What makes it so much worse is that he also works in a shop. And why mention it? Any empathy I might have had evaporated 10 minutes ago. He wants money off because he was “diappointed” with the price? Big fucking deal.
I go and speak to the manager, wary that he’d given in to a similar customer earlier that day, but I didn’t care what he’d said, that guy was not getting money off that canvas. Luckily the manager thought along exactly the same lines as I did - “That guys just taking the piss!”. So I go down and give this retail slave gone bad the news, which he takes very badly....
Customer: “Well, I want it in writing, please. I want a copy of these prices and I’m going to trading standards on Monday! And can you tell the manager that as well.”
I go and scan both the deep edge and staple back prices and patronise him by asking if he’d like me to highlight the ones in question (“No! I know which ones there are, thankyou!”). I don’t know what he was playing at. Obviously he was desperately trying to get money off this canvas, knowing full well he was in the wrong, and thought he knew all the tricks in the book because he worked in a shop. Must have slipped his mind that I do too. *Sigh*, what a dumbass! I also think he was trying to get a rise out of me by being so difficult so that he could use poor customer service against me as well because he was a bit put out that I was being so nice about everything.
He bought the canvas anyway at £7.99, and we never heard anything from trading standards.
Me: 10092 - Dumbass customers: 0
